We didn‘t even have our own house anymore. My father was working for Uncle Batta， and we were living with him and his family in their big house until we found our own. I didn’t see much of my parents because they were busy finding work， commuting to work， or looking for a place to live.
I hated it. I was overwhelmed， mentally， emotionally， and physically. So I made like a turtle and withdrew into my shell. During recess and lunch hours， I went off on my own， sometimes hiding behind the bushes near the playground. My favorite hideout， though， was in one of the music rooms overseen by Mr. McKagan， the band and music teacher.
Mr. McKagan， who is still on the staff at Lindero Canyon， is a terrific teacher. He was so popular， he was like a rock star at the school， teaching （I think） eight or nine classes a day. His brother Duff is a legendary bass guitarist who has played with Guns N‘ Roses and other top rock bands. That was another strange aspect of moving from Australia to California. I felt like we’d left a perfectly normal family existence and landed in some surreal pop culture kingdom. We lived just outside Los Angeles and Hollywood， so we were always bumping into movie stars and television stars in the grocery store or at the mall. Half my classmates were aspiring or working actors. After school， I could turn on the television and watch a nice guy from my history class， Jonathan Taylor Thomas， ham it up on the popular television show Home Improvement.
My life had been altered in so many ways， I was simply overwhelmed. I‘d lost all the confidence I’d worked so hard to build. My Australian classmates had accepted me， but in America I was a stranger in a strange land with a strange accent and an even stranger body. Or at least that‘s how I felt. Mr. McKagan saw that I was hiding out in his music rooms， and he tried to encourage me to go out and mix with the other students. But I just couldn’t get motivated.
I was fighting a change I couldn‘t control instead of focusing on what I could adjust， my attitude and my actions. Really， I should have known better. I was only twelve years old， but I’d already learned to focus on my abilities instead of my disabilities. I‘d accepted my lack of limbs and I’d managed to become a pretty happy and self-sufficient kid. But this move threw me for a loop.
Have you ever noticed that when you enter into one of those major transitional periods in your life， your senses seem heightened？ When you go through a bad breakup， doesn‘t every movie and television show seem to have a hidden message aimed at you？ Don’t all the songs on the radio seem to be about your very own aching heart？ Those heightened emotions and senses may be survival tools triggered when you are stressed or thrown into unfamiliar situations. They put you on high alert， and they can be valuable.
I still remember that as distressed as I was about leaving Australia， I always found peace and comfort gazing at the mountains or watching the sun set on the beach in my new environment. I still think California is a beautiful place， but it seemed even more beautiful then.
Whether positive or negative， change can be a powerful and scary experience， which is why your first reaction may be to fight it. When I took business classes in college， I learned that most major corporations have executives who are the designated “change agents.” Their job is to rally reluctant employees behind big transitions， whether it‘s a merger， or a new division， or a new way of doing business.
As the president of my own business， I’ve learned that each employee has his or her own way of dealing with new initiatives or alterations in our mission. There will always be a few people who get excited about new experiences， but mostly people resist because they are comfortable with the status quo， or they fear their lives will change for the worse.
CHANGE RESISTANT
Everyone knows nothing stays the same forever， but strangely， when outside events or other people force us out of our comfort zones， we often become fearful and insecure. Sometimes we grow angry and resentful. Even when people are in a bad situation—a violent relationship， a dead-end job， or a dangerous environment— they often refuse to take a new path because they would rather deal with the known than the unknown.
I recently met George， a physical therapist and fitness coach. I told him that I was having a problem with my back and that I needed some exercises to strengthen it but I couldn‘t get motivated to work out because I was so busy traveling and running my company. George’s response was classic： “Hey， if you want to deal with that pain getting worse and worse for the rest of your life， good luck to you.”
He mocked me！ I felt like giving George a head butt. But then I realized he was motivating me， forcing me to deal with the fact that if I was not willing to adjust my lifestyle， I would pay the consequences.
He was saying， Nick， you don‘t have to change if you don’t feel like it， but the only person who can help your back feel better is you.
I was a good example of a bad example with my resistance to a lifestyle adjustment. But people in far worse circumstances resist moves that would greatly improve their lives. Often they are afraid to give up even terrible situations if it means shifting into an unfamiliar situation. And many people refuse to accept responsibility for their own lives. President Barack Obama stressed the importance of personal responsibility when he said， “We are the change we have been waiting for.” But some people fight the tide， even when it threatens to drown them.
For some people， taking responsibility is a lot more daunting than taking a pass. When life deals you a card that ruins your hand and upsets your plans， you can blame the universe， your parents， and the kid who stole your sandwich in the third grade. But in the end， blaming does nothing for you. Taking responsibility is the only way to master the detours and shifting conditions along your life‘s path. My experiences have taught me that making a positive change has five necessary stages.
1. Recognizing the need to change