Sadly， we are often slow to recognize the need to make a move. We settle into a routine， even if it isn’t all that comfortable， and we choose inaction over action simply out of laziness or fear. Often it takes something really scary to make us recognize that we need a new plan. My attempted suicide was one such moment for me. I had been hanging on for years， putting on a brave face most of the time， but inside I was haunted by dark thoughts that if I could not change my body， I‘d end my life. When I reached the point where I nearly let myself drown， I recognized it was time to take responsibility for my own happiness.
2. Envisioning something new
A friend of mine， Ned， recently had the sad task of convincing his parents to move out of their home of forty years and into a senior living center， a nursing home. His father’s health was failing， and the burden of caring for him had endangered his mother‘s life too. His parents did not want to move. They preferred to stay in their home， surrounded by neighbors they knew. “We are happy here. Why would we leave？” they said.
Ned talked it over with his parents for more than a year before he convinced them to visit a very nice senior citizens community just a few blocks from their home. They’d formed an image of “old folks‘ homes” as cold and dreary places where “old people go to die.” Instead， they found a clean， warm， and lively place where many of their former neighbors were living and enjoying active days. It had a medical clinic staffed with doctors and nurses and therapists who could take over some of the care for Ned’s father that had weighed so heavily on his mother.
Once his parents had a vision of the new place， they agreed to move there. “We never thought it could be so nice，” they said.
If you have difficulty moving from where you are to where you need to go， it may help to get a clear vision of where the move will take you. This may mean scouting out a location， trying new relationships， or shadowing someone in a career you might want to pursue. Once you are more familiar with the new place， it will be easier to leave the old one.
3. Letting go of the old
This is a tough stage for many people. Imagine you are climbing a rock wall in the mountains. You are halfway up the wall， hundreds of feet above the valley floor. You have just come to a small ledge. It‘s scary， and you know you would be vulnerable if the wind picked up or a storm moved in， but on that ledge you have at least some sense of security.
The problem is that to keep moving up， or even to head back down， you have to abandon the security of that ledge and reach for another hold. Letting go of that sense of security， however tenuous， is the challenge， whether you are rock climbing or taking a new path in life. You have to release your hold on the old and grab on to the new. Many people freeze at this stage， or they start to make the move but then get scared and chicken out. If you find yourself in this situation， think of yourself as climbing a ladder. To move to the next rung， you must give up your grip and reach for the next one. Release， reach， and raise yourself up， one rung at a time！
4. Getting settled
This can be another tricky stage for people. They may have let go of the old and moved up to the new， but until they attain a certain comfort level， they can still be tempted to go running back. It’s the Okay， I‘m here， now what？ stage.
The key to settling in is to be very careful about the thoughts that play out in your head. You have to screen out panic-mode thoughts like Oh my gosh， what did I do？ and focus forward along the lines of This is a great adventure！
In my first few months in the United States as a boy， I struggled with the acceptance stage mightily. I spent many days and nights twitching uncomfortably in my bed， fretting about my new environment. I hid out from other students， fearing rejection and mockery. But slowly， gradually， I came to enjoy certain aspects of my new home. For one thing， I had cousins here too； I just hadn’t known them as well as my cousins back in Australia. My American cousins turned out to be great people. Then there were the beach and the mountains and the desert， all within easy reach.
Then， just as I began to think maybe California USA wasn‘t so bad， my parents decided to return to Australia. When I got older and finished college， I moved right back to California. Now， it feels like home to me！
5. Keep growing
This is the best stage of making a successful transition. You’ve made the leap， and now it‘s time to grow in the new environment. The fact is that you really can’t keep growing without change. Although the process can be stressful and even downright painful emotionally and even physically， the growth is usually worth it.
I‘ve seen that in my business. A few years ago I had to restructure my company. That meant letting some people go. I am horrible at firing people. I absolutely hate it. I’m a nurturing kind of guy， not a bloke who likes to bring the bad news down on those I care about. I still have nightmares about firing staff members whom I‘d come to know and love as friends. But looking back， my company never would have been able to grow if I hadn’t made that change. We‘ve reaped the rewards. I can’t say that I‘m glad to have let go those former employees； I miss them still.
Growing pains are a sign that you are stretching and reaching for new heights. You don’t have to enjoy them， but know that they always come before a breakthrough that leads to better days.
CHANGING THE WORLD
In my travels I‘ve observed people in each of these stages of change， especially during the 2008 trip to India that I described before. I went to speak in Mumbai， India’s largest city and the second most populated city in the world. Once known as Bombay， Mumbai is on India‘s west coast， on the Arabian Sea， and serves as its financial and cultural center.
This city， home to both great wealth and terrible poverty， has been in the public spotlight because it served as the setting for the Academy Award–winning movie Slumdog Millionaire. As great as it is， that film offered only brief glimpses into the horrors of Mumbai’s slums and the sexual slave trade that flourishes in a city dominated by Hindus and Muslims， with only a small population of Christians.