Hilarion:I am that Prince Hilarion to whom Your Princess is betrothed.I come to claim Her plighted love.Your brother Florian And Cyril came to see me safely through.
Psyche: The Prince Hilarion? Cyril too? How strange!
My earliest playfellows!
Hilarion: Why, let me look!
Are you that learned little Psyche who At school alarmed her mates because she called A buttercup "ranunculus bulbosus"?
Cyril: Are you indeed that Lady Psyche, who At children's parties, drove the conjuror wild, Explaining all his tricks before he did them?
Hilarion:Are you that learned little Psyche, who At dinner parties, brought in to dessert, Would tackle visitors with "You don't know Who first determined longitude -- I do --Hipparchus 'twas -- B.C.one sixty-three!"Are you indeed that small phenomenon?
Psyche: That small phenomenon indeed am I!
But gentlemen, 'tis death to enter here:
We have all promised to renounce mankind!
Florian: Renounce mankind!? On what ground do you base This senseless resolution?
Psyche: Senseless? No.
We are all taught, and, being taught, believe That Man, sprung from an Ape, is Ape at heart.
Cyril: That's rather strong.
Psyche: The truth is always strong!
SONG (Lady Psyche, with Cyril, Hilarion and Florian)"A Lady Fair, of Lineage High"Psyche: A Lady fair, of lineage high, Was loved by an Ape, in the days gone by.
The Maid was radiant as the sun, The Ape was a most unsightly one, The Ape was a most unsightly one--So it would not do--His scheme fell through, For the Maid, when his love took formal shape, Express'd such terror At his monstrous error, That he stammer'd an apology and made his 'scape, The picture of a disconcerted Ape.
With a view to rise in the social scale, He shaved his bristles and he docked his tail, He grew mustachios, and he took his tub, And he paid a guinea to a toilet club, He paid a guinea to a toilet club--But it would not do, The scheme fell through--For the Maid was Beauty's fairest Queen, With golden tresses, Like a real princess's, While the Ape, despite his razor keen, Was the apiest Ape that ever was seen!
He bought white ties, and he bought dress suits, He crammed his feet into bright tight boots--And to start in life on a brand-new plan, He christen'd himself Darwinian Man!
But it would not do, The scheme fell through--For the Maiden fair, whom the monkey crav'd, Was a radiant Being, With brain far-seeing--While Darwinian Man, though well-behav'd, At best is only a monkey shav'd!
3 Men:For the Maiden fair, whom the monkey crav'd,All:Was a radiant being, With a brain far-seeing--While Darwinian Man, though well-behav'd, At best is only a monkey shav'd!
(During this, Melissa has entered unobserved;she looks on in amazement.)Melissa: (Coming down) Oh, Lady Psyche!
Psyche: (Terrified) What! You heard us then?
Oh, all is lost!
Melissa:Not so! I'll breathe no word!
(Advancing in astonishment to Florian)
How marvelously strange! and are you then Indeed young men?
Florian:Well, yes, just now we are--But hope by dint of study to become, In course of time, young women.
Melissa: (Eagerly) No, no, no --Oh, don't do that! Is this indeed a man?
I've often heard of them, but, till to-day, Never set eyes on one.They told me men Were hideous, idiotic, and deformed!
They are quite as beautiful as women are!
As beautiful, they're infinitely more so!
Their cheeks have not that pulpy softness which One gets so weary of in womankind:
Their features are more marked -- and -- oh, their chins!
(Feeling Florian's chin)
How curious!
Florian: I fear it's rather rough.
Melissa: (Eagerly) Oh, don't apologize -- I like it so!
QUINTET (Psyche, Melissa, Cyril, Hilarion and Florian)"The Woman of the Wisest Wit"Psyche: The woman of the wisest win May sometimes be mistaken, O!
In Ida's views, I must admit, My faith is somewhat shaken O!
Cyril:On every other point than this Her learning is untainted, O!
But Man's a theme with which she is Entirely unacquainted, O!
--acquainted, O!
--acquainted, O!
Entirely unacquainted, O!
All: Then jump for joy and gaily bound, The truth is found -- the truth is found!
Set bells a-ringing through the air--
Ring here and there and ev'rywhere--
3 Men:And echo forth the joyous sound,All: The truth is found -- the truth is found!
3 Men:And echo forth the joyous sound,All: The truth is found -- the truth is found!
And echo forth the joyous sound, The truth is found -- the truth is found!
(Dance)
Melissa: My natural instinct teaches me (And instinct is important, O!)You're ev'rything you ought to be, And nothing that you oughtn't, O!
Hilarion: That fact was seen at once by you In casual conversation, O!
Which is most creditable to Your powers of observation, O!
-servation, O!
-servation, O!
Your powers of observation, O!
All: Then jump for joy and gaily bound, The truth is found, the truth is found!
Set bells a-ringing through the air, Ring here and there and ev'rywhere.
3 Men:And echo forth the joyous sound,All: The truth is found -- the truth is found!
3 Men:And echo forth the joyous sound,All: The truth is found -- the truth is found!
And echo forth the joyous sound, The truth is found -- the truth is found!
(Exeunt Psyche, Hilarion, Cyril and Florian,Melissa going.)(Enter Lady Blanche.
Blanche: Melissa!
Melissa: (Returning) Mother!
Blanche:Here -- a word with you.
Those are the three new students?
Melissa: (Confused) Yes, they are.
They're charming girls.
Blanche: Particularly so.
So graceful, and so very womanly!
So skilled in all a girl's accomplishments!
Melissa: (Confused) Yes -- very skilled.
Blanche: They sing so nicely too!
Melissa: They do sing nicely!
Blanche: Humph! It's very odd.
Two are tenors, one is a baritone!
Melissa: (Much agitated) They've all got colds!
Blanche: Colds! Bah! D'ye think I'm blind?
These "girls" are men disguised!
Melissa: Oh no -- indeed!
You wrong these gentlemen -- I mean -- why, see, Here is an etui dropped by one of them (picking up an etui).
Containing scissors, needles, and --
Blanche: (Opening it) Cigars!