Cyril: To keep men off is only half their charge, And that the easier half.I much suspect The object of these walls is not so much To keep men off as keep the maidens in!
Florian: But what are these? (Examining some Collegiate robes)Hilarion:(looking at them) Why, Academic robes, Worn by the lady undergraduates When they matriculate.Let's try them on.(They do so.)Why, see -- we're covered to the very toes.
Three lovely lady undergraduates Who, weary of the world and all its wooing -- (pose)Florian: And penitent for deeds there's no undoing -- (pose)Cyril: Looked at askance by well-conducted maids -- (pose)All: Seek sanctuary in these classic shades!
TRIO (Cyril, Hilarion and Florian)
"I am a maiden"
Hilarion: I am a maiden, cold and stately, Heartless I, with face divine.
What do I want with a heart, innately?
Every heart I meet is mine!
Every heart I meet is mine, is mine!
All: Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be.
So that a maid is fair to see, Ev'ry maid is the maid for me!
(Dance)
Cyril:I am a maiden, frank and simple, Brimming with joyous roguery;Merriment lurks in ev'ry dimple Nobody breaks more hearts than I!
Nobody breaks more hearts, more hearts than IAll: Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be.
So that a maid is fair to see, Ev'ry maid is the maid for me!
(Dance)
Florian: I am a maiden coyly blushing, Timid am I as a startled hind;Every suitor sets me flushing, Every suitor sets me flushing:
I am the maid that wins mankind!
All: Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be.
So that a maid is fair to see, Ev'ry maid is the maid for me!
Haughty, humble, coy, or free, Little care I what maid may be.
So that a maid is fair to see, Ev'ry maid is the maid for me!
[Enter the Princess, reading.She does not see them.)Florian: But who comes here? The Princess, as I live!
What shall we do?
Hilarion:(Aside) Why, we must brave it out!
(Aloud) Madam, accept our humblest reverence.
(They bow, then suddenly recollecting themselves, curtsey.)Princess:(Surprised) We greet you, ladies.What would you with us?
Hilarion:(Aside to Cyril)
What shall I say? (Aloud) We are three students, ma'am, Three well-born maids of liberal estate, Who wish to join this University.
(Hilarion and Florian curtsey again.Cyril bows extravagantly, then, being recalled to himself by Florian, curtseys.)Princess:If, as you say, you wish to join our ranks, And will subscribe to all our rules, 'tis well.
Florian: To all your rules we cheerfully subscribe.
Princess:You say you're noblewomen.Well, you'll find No sham degrees for noblewomen here.
You'll find no sizars here, or servitors, Or other cruel distinctions, meant to draw A line 'twixt rich and poor; you'll find no tufts To mark nobility, except such tufts As indicate nobility of brain.
As for your fellow-students, mark me well:
There are a hundred maids within these walls, All good, all learned, and all beautiful:
They are prepared to love you: will you swear To give the fullness of your love to them?
Hilarion:Upon our words and honours, Ma'am, we will!
Princess:But we go further: Will you undertake That you will never marry any man?
Florian: Indeed we never will!
Princess: Consider well, You must prefer our maids to all mankind!
Hilarion:To all mankind we much prefer your maids!
Cyril: We should be dolts indeed, if we did not, seeing how fair --Hilarion:(Aside to Cyril) Take care -- that's rather strong!
Princess:But have you left no lovers at your home Who may pursue you here?
Hilarion: No, madam, none.
We're homely ladies, as no doubt you see, And we have never fished for lover's love.
We smile at girls who deck themselves with gems, False hair and meretricious ornament, To chain the fleeting fancy of a man, But do not imitate them.What we have Of hair, is all our own.Our colour, too, Unladylike, but not unwomanly, Is Nature's handiwork, and man has learnt To reckon Nature an impertinence.
Princess:Well, beauty counts for naught within these walls;If all you say is true, you'll pass with us A happy, happy time!
Cyril: If, as you say, A hundred lovely maidens wait within, To welcome us with smiles and open arms, I think there's very little doubt we shall!
QUARTET (Princess, Cyril, Hilarion and Florian)"The World is But a Broken Toy"Princess: The world is but a broken toy, Its pleasure hollow -- false its joy, Unreal its loveliest hue, Alas!
Its pains alone are true, Alas!
Its pains alone are true.
Hilarion: The world is ev'rything you say, The world we think has had its day.
Its merriment is slow.
Alas!
We've tried it, and we know, Alas!
We've tried it and we know.
All: Unreal its loveliest hue, Its pains alone are true,Princess: Alas!
All: The world is but a broken toy, Its pleasure hollow -- false its joy, Unreal its loveliest hue, Alas!
Its pains alone are true, Alas!
Its pains alone are true!
Florian:Unreal its loveliest hue,3 Men: Unreal its loveliest hue,Princess: Cyr.& Flor: A- Hilarion:Un-Un- las! real its loveliest hue real--- Alas! Alas!
-----
---- its loveliest hueAll: Alas!
Alas!
Its pains alone are true.
(Exit Princess.The three Gentlemen watch her off.
Lady Psyche enters, and regards them with amazement)Hilarion:I'faith, the plunge is taken, gentlemen!
For, willy-nilly, we are maidens now, And maids against our will we must remain.
[All laugh heartily.]
Psyche: (Aside) These ladies are unseemly in their mirth.
(The gentlemen see her, and, in confusion, resume their modest demeanour.)Florian: (Aside) Here's a catastrophe, Hilarion!
This is my sister! She'll remember me, Though years have passed since she and I have met!
Hilarion:(Aside to Florian) Then make a virtue of necessity, And trust our secret to her gentle care.
Florian: (To Psyche, who has watched Cyril in amazement)Psyche! Why, don't you know me? Florian!
Psyche: (Amazed) Why, Florian!
Florian:My sister! (Embraces her)Psyche: Oh, my dear! What are you doing here -- and who are these?