Why, these are men! And you knew this, you minx!
Melissa: Oh, spare them -- they are gentlemen indeed.
The Prince Hilarion (married years ago To Princess Ida) with two trusted friends!
Consider, mother, he's her husband now, And has been, twenty years! Consider, too, You're only second here -- you should be first.
Assist the Prince's plan, and when he gains The Princess Ida, why, you will be first.
You will design the fashions -- think of that--And always serve out all the punishments!
The scheme is harmless, mother -- wink at it!
Blanche: (Aside) The prospect's tempting! Well, well, well, I'll try --Though I've not winked at anything for years!
'Tis but one step towards my destiny--
The mighty Must! the inevitable Shall!
DUET (Melissa and Lady Blanche)
"Now Wouldn't you like to Rule the Roast"Melissa: Now wouldn't you like to rule the roast And guide this University?
Blanche: I must agree, 'Twould pleasant be, (Sing hey, a Proper Pride!)Melissa: And wouldn't you like to clear the coast, Of malice and perversity?
Blanche: Without a doubt, I'll bundle 'em out, (Sing hey, when I preside!)Both: Sing hey!
Sing hoity toity! Sorry for some!
Sing marry, come up, and (my) her day will come!
Sing Proper Pride Is the horse to ride, And Happy-go-lucky, my Lady, O!
Blanche: For years I've writhed beneath her sneers, Although a born Plantagenet!
Melissa: You're much too meek, Or you would speak (Sing hey, I'll say no more!)Blanche: Her elder I, by several years, Although you'd ne'er imagine it.
Melissa: Sing, so I've heard But never a word Have I e'er believ'd before!
Both: Sing hey!
Sing hoity toity! Sorry for some!
Sing marry, come up, and her (my) day will come!
Sing, she shall learn That a worm will turn.
Sing Happy-go-lucky, my Lady, O!
(Exit Lady Blanche)
Melissa: Saved for a time, at least!
(Enter Florian, on tiptoe)
Florian: (Whispering) Melissa -- come!
Melissa: Oh, sir! you must away from this at once--My mother guessed your sex! It was my fault--I blushed and stammered so that she exclaimed, "Can these be men?" Then, seeing this, "Why these--""Are men", she would have added, but "are men"Stuck in her throat! She keeps your secret, sir, For reasons of her own -- but fly from this And take me with you -- that is -- no -- not that!
Florian: I'll go, but not without you! (Bell) Why, what's that?
Melissa: The luncheon bell.
Florian:I'll wait for luncheon then!
(Enter Hilarion with Princess, Cyril with Psyche, Lady Blanche and ladies.Also "Daughters of the Plough" bearing luncheon.)CHORUS OF GIRLS & SOLOS (Blanche and Cyril)"Merrily Ring the Luncheon Bell"
Chorus: Merrily ring the luncheon bell!
Merrily ring the luncheon bell!
Here in meadow of asphodel, Feast we body and mind as well, Merrily ring the luncheon1st Sops: 2nd Sops:
bell! - - - --- bell! Oh merrily Ring - - - --- ring the luncheon oh, --- bell, Oh ring, - - - --- merrily, merrily, merrily, Oh, --- merrilyChorus: Merrily ring the luncheon bell, the luncheon bell!
Blanche: Hunger, I beg to state, Is highly indelicate.
This is a fact profoundly true, So learn your appetites to subdue.
All:Yes, yes, We'll learn our appetites to subdue!
Cyril: Madam, your words so wise, Nobody should despise, Curs'd with appetite keen I am And I'll subdue it--And I'll subdue it--I'll subdue it with cold roast lamb!
All: Yes -- yes--We'll subdue it with cold roast lamb!
Merrily ring the luncheon bell!
Merrily ring the luncheon bell!
Oh1st Sops:ring! - - - ---2nd Sophs:merrily, merrily, Oh, merrily, merrilyChorus: Merrily ring the luncheon bell, the luncheon bell!
Princess:You say you know the court of Hildebrand?
There is a Prince there -- I forget his name --Hilarion:Hilarion?
Princess: Exactly -- is he well?
Hilarion:If it be well to droop and pine and mope, To sigh "Oh, Ida! Ida!" all day long, "Ida! my love! my life! Oh, come to me!"If it be well, I say, to do all this, Then Prince Hilarion is very well.
Princess:He breathes our name? Well, it's a common one!
And is the booby comely?
Hilarion: Pretty well.
I've heard it said that if I dressed myself In Prince Hilarion's clothes (supposing this Consisted with my maiden modesty), I might be taken for Hilarion's self.
But what is this to you or me, who think Of all mankind with undisguised contempt?
Princess:Contempt? Why, damsel, when I think of man, Contempt is not the word.
Cyril: (Getting tipsy) I'm sure of that, Or if it is, it surely should not be!
Hilarion:(Aside to Cyril) Be quiet, idiot, or they'll find us out.
Cyril: The Prince Hilarion's a goodly lad!
Princess:You know him then?
Cyril: (Tipsily)I rather think I do!
We are inseparables!
Princess: Why, what's this?
You love him then?
Cyril:We do indeed -- all three!
Hilarion:Madam, she jests! (Aside to Cyril) Remember where you are!
Cyril: Jests? Not at all! Why, bless my heart alive, You and Hilarion, when at the Court, Rode the same horse!
Princess:(Horrified)Astride?
Cyril:Of course! Why not?
Wore the same clothes -- and once or twice, I think, Got tipsy in the same good company!
Princess:Well, these are nice young ladies, on my word!
Cyril: (Tipsy) Don't you remember that old kissing-song He'd sing to blushing Mistress Lalage, The hostess of the Pigeons? Thus it ran:
SONG (Cyril)
"Would you know the Kind of Maid"
(During symphony Hilarion and Florian try to stop Cyril.He shakes them off angrily.)Cyril:Would you know the kind of maid Sets my heart aflame-a?
Eyes must be downcast and staid, Cheeks must flush for shame-a!
She may neither dance nor sing, But, demure in everything, Hang her head in modest way, With pouting lips, with pouting lips that seem to say, "Oh kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die of shame-a!"Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets my heart aflame-a!
"Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die of shame-a!"Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets my heart aflame-a!