If you aren‘t where you want to be or you haven’t achieved all you hope to achieve， the reason most likely resides not around you but within you. Take responsibility and then take action. First， though， you must believe in yourself and your value. You can‘t wait for others to discover your hiding place. You can’t wait for that miracle or “just the right opportunity.” You should consider yourself the stick and the world your pot of stew. Stir it up.
As a boy， I spent many nights praying for limbs. I‘d go to sleep crying and dream that I’d wake up to find they had miraculously appeared. It never happened， of course. Because I did not accept myself， I went off to school the next day and as a result found that acceptance from others was hard to come by.
Like most kids， I was more vulnerable in my pre-teen years， that time when everyone is trying to figure out where they fit in， who they are， and what the future holds. Often those who hurt me didn‘t set out to be cruel； they were just being typically blunt kids.
“Why don’t you have arms and legs？” they‘d ask.
My desire to fit in was the same as for any of my classmates. On my good days I won them over with my wit， my willingness to poke fun at myself， and by throwing my body around on the playground. On my worst days I hid behind the shrubbery or in empty classrooms to avoid being hurt or mocked. Part of the problem was that I’d spent more time with adults and older cousins than with kids my own age. I had a more mature outlook， and my more serious thoughts sometimes took me into dark places.
I‘ll never get a girl to love me. I don’t even have arms to hold a girlfriend. If I have children， I‘ll never be able to hold them either. What sort of job could I ever have？ Who would hire me？ For most jobs， they’d have to hire a second person just to help me do what I was supposed to do. Who would ever hire one for the price of two？
My challenges were mostly physical， but clearly they affected me emotionally as well. I went through a very scary period of depression at a young age. Then， to my everlasting shock and gratitude， as I moved into my teen years， I gradually won acceptance， first from myself and then from others.
Everyone goes through times when they feel excluded， alienated， or unloved. We all have our insecurities. Most kids fear they‘ll be mocked because their noses are too big or their hair is too curly. Adults fear that they won’t be able to pay the bills or that they will fail to live up to expectations.
You will face moments of doubt and fear. We all do. Feeling down is natural； it is part of being perfectly human. Such feelings pose a danger only if you allow negative thoughts to stick around instead of just letting them wash over you.
When you trust that you have blessings—talents， knowledge， love—to share with others， you will begin the journey to self acceptance even if your gifts are not yet apparent. Once you begin that walk， others will find you and walk with you.
SPEAKING UP
I found the path to my purpose while trying to reach out to my classmates. If you‘ve ever had to be the new kid in the corner， eating lunch all by yourself， I’m sure you understand that being the new kid in the corner in a wheelchair could be all the more difficult. Our moves from Melbourne to Brisbane， to the United States， and back to Brisbane forced me to make adjustments that added to my challenges.
My new classmates often assumed I was mentally as well as physically disabled. They usually kept their distance unless I summoned the courage to strike up conversations in the lunchroom or in the hallway. The more I did this， the more they accepted that I really wasn‘t an alien dropped into their midst.
Sometimes， you see， God expects you to help out with the heavy lifting. You can wish. You can dream. You can hope. But you must also act upon those wishes， those dreams， and those hopes. You have to stretch beyond where you are to reach where you want to be. I wanted people at my school to know that I was just like them on the inside， but I had to go outside my comfort zone to do that. Reaching out to them in this way brought out awesome rewards.
In time these discussions with classmates about coping in a world made for arms and legs led to invitations for me to speak to student groups， church youth groups， and other teen organizations. There’s a wonderful truth that‘s so central to living. I find it extraordinary that schools do not teach it. The essential truth is this： Each of us has some gift—a talent， a skill， a craft， a knack—that gives us pleasure and engages us， and the path to our happiness often lies within that gift.
If you are still searching， still trying to figure out where you fit in and what fulfills you， I suggest you do a self-assessment. Sit down with a pen and paper or at a computer and make a list of your favorite activities. What do you find yourself drawn to do？ What can you spend hours doing， losing track of time and place， and still want to do it again and again？ Now， what is it that other people see in you？ Do they compliment your talent for organization or your analytical skills？ If you’re not really sure what others see in you， ask your family and friends what they think you are best at.
These are the clues to finding your life‘s path， a path that lies secreted within you. We all arrive on this earth naked and full of promise. We come packed with presents waiting to be opened. When you find something that so fully engages you that you would do it for free all day every day， then you are on course. When you find someone who is willing to pay you for it， then you have a career.
At first my informal little talks to other young people were a way to reach out to them， to show that I was just like them. I was focused inward， grateful for a chance to share my world and to make connections. I knew what speaking did for me， but it took a while to realize that what I had to say might have an impact on others.
FiNDING A PATH