We then lived in Melbourne, Australia, which offered some of the best medical care in the country. I did present challenges beyond the training of most health care professionals. At the time when doctors were preparing me for foot surgery, my mum kept emphasizing to them that I ran hot most of the time and that they would have to be especially attentive to the possibility of my body overheating. She knew about another child without limbs who overheated during an operation and was left with brain damage after suffering a brain seizure.
My self-roasting tendencies prompted an oft-repeated family saying: “When Nicky‘s cold, the ducks must be freezing.” Still, it is no joke that if I exercise too much, get stressed out, or stay too long under hot lights, my body temperature will rise dangerously. Avoiding a meltdown is one of the things I have to always be on guard against.
“Please monitor his temperature carefully,” my mum told the surgical team. Even though the doctors knew my mother was a nurse, they still didn’t take her advice seriously. They managed a successful surgery separating my toes, but what my mum had warned them about came to pass. I emerged from the operating room soaked because they hadn‘t taken any precautions for keeping my body from overheating, and when they realized that my temperature was getting out of control, they tried to cool me with wet sheets. They also put buckets of ice on me to avoid a seizure.
My mum was furious. No doubt the doctors felt the wrath of Dushka!
Even still, once I chilled out (quite literally), my quality of life received a big boost from my newly freed toes. They didn’t work exactly as the doctors had hoped, but I adapted. It‘s amazing what a little foot and a couple of toes can do for a bloke with no arms and no legs. That operation and new technologies liberated me by giving me the power to operate custom-built electronic wheelchairs, a computer, and a cell phone too.
I can’t know exactly what your burden is, nor do I pretend that I‘ve ever been through a similar crisis, but look at what my parents went through when I was born. Imagine how they felt. Consider how bleak the future must have looked to them.
You may not be able to see a bright light at the end of your own dark tunnel right now, but know that my parents could not envision what a wonderful life I would have one day. They had no idea that their son would be not only self-sufficient and fully engaged in a career but happy, and full of joyful purpose!
Most of my parents’ worst fears never materialized. Raising me was certainly not easy, but I think they‘ll tell you that for all the challenges, we had plenty of laughter and joy. All things considered, I had an amazingly normal childhood in which I enjoyed tormenting my siblings, Aaron and Michelle, just like all big brothers!
Life may be kicking you around right now. You may wonder if your fortunes will improve. I’m telling you that you can‘t even imagine the good that awaits you if you refuse to give up. Stay focused on your dream. Do whatever it takes to stay in the chase. You have the power to change your circumstances. Go after whatever it is you desire.
My life is an adventure still being written—and so is yours. Start writing the first chapter now! Fill it with adventure and love and happiness. Live the story as you write it!
SEARCHING FOR MEANING
I’ll concede that for a long time I did not believe that I had any power over how my own story would turn out. I struggled to understand what difference I could make in the world or what path I should take. I was convinced while growing up that there was nothing good about my abbreviated body. Sure, I never had to get up from the dinner table because I hadn‘t washed my hands, and yes, I’d never known the pain of a stubbed toe, but these few benefits didn‘t seem like much consolation.
My brother and sister and my crazy cousins never let me feel sorry for myself. They never coddled me. They accept me for who I am, yet they also toughened me up with their teasing and pranks so that I could find humor instead of bitterness in my circumstances.
“Look at that kid in the wheelchair! He’s an alien,” my cousins would scream across the shopping mall, pointing at me. We all laughed hysterically at the reactions from strangers who had no idea that the kids picking on the disabled boy were really his strongest allies.
The older I become, the more I realize what a powerful gift it is to be loved like that. Even if at times you feel alone, you should know that you are loved too and recognize that God created you out of love. Therefore you are never alone. His love for you is unconditional. He doesn‘t love you if . . . He loves you always. Remind yourself of that when feelings of loneliness and despair come over you. Remember, those are just feelings. They are not real, but God’s love is so real that He created you to prove it.
It is important to hold His love in your heart because there will be times when you feel vulnerable. My big family couldn‘t always be there to protect me. Once I went off to school, there was no hiding that I was so very different from everyone else. My dad assured me that God didn’t make mistakes, but at times I couldn‘t shake the feeling that I was the exception to that rule.
“Why couldn’t You give me just one arm?” I‘d ask God. “Think what I could do with one arm!”
I’m sure you‘ve had similar moments when you’ve prayed or simply wished for a dramatic change in your life. There is no reason to panic if your miracle doesn‘t arrive, or if your wish doesn’t come true right this minute. Remember, God helps those who help themselves. It‘s still up to you to keep striving to serve the highest purpose for your talents and your dreams in the world around you.
For the longest time I thought that if my body were more “normal,” my life would be a breeze. What I didn’t realize was that I didn‘t have to be normal—I just had to be me, my father’s child, carrying out God‘s plan. At first I was not willing to confront that what was really wrong with me wasn’t my body, it was the limits I put on myself and my limited vision of the possibilities for my life.