Anonymous
本章内容导读
我现在才意识到还有好多话要对您讲——就像大家常说的那样——好多问题也还没有来得及问。
您曾经对我说，在这个瞬息万变的时代，我们能留给孩子最好的东西就是爱。
因为爱是永恒的，它永远都不会消失。
Dear Mum，
I haven't written many letters to you before，as we've almost always been able to just pick up the phone and have a chat，so it's hard to know how to start.
Of course，all the usual things apply1—we all miss you and hope you're all right wherever you are.
When you left us，it took a little while for it to sink in2 that I would never see you again.I guessed it was a bit like you being away on a trip or those times when we didn't find the time to even speak on the phone for a week or so.
Now I realize there are too many things left unsaid—as everyone always says—and too many questions unasked.Silly things really，like yesterday，when I was doing my washing，I wondered how you felt when you got your first automatic washing machine，I can still remember the old machine you had when I was a child.Though，I guess I know the answers to most of time the important things about you.
Dad finds life difficult without you and his loneliness is almost unbearable to me，as there's so little I can do to help him.I think in time he'll find some interests and make a new kind of life.But at the moment he seems only to look forward to the time when he can join you again.
Emily and I are feeling a little better each day，in a way，your going has brought us closer together.We seem to understand each other better at the moment and maybe eventually we'll have the sort of relationship that really close sisters enjoy.
We've both found strengths in each other over the past weeks，and these are a huge comfort.Perhaps we never needed to look for them before，because we had you to be strong for us.
I guess I'm lucky to have my own children to keep me so busy.I don't have much time to dwell on3 my sadness but sometimes I crave the peace to just have a private think about you.
For a couple of weeks after you died，my brain seemed to go crazy，searching through its memory banks for something I could keep in my heart which was special to you and me.One day it came to me—the tour we made of some special gardens.
Remember the day it poured with rain the whole time but we were determined to make the most of it.I enjoyed just being with you by myself，without the children clamoring for your attention.The gardens were beautiful despite the rain and you bought me a rose I'd admired for my own garden.
For a while after your death，I expected to feel your presence around me as Dad and Emily seemed to do with such ease.When I was out walking，I would look at the sky and wonder whether you could see me，or whether you were with me.At night I wondered whether you'd become a star，as some people believed.
But as time passes，I think I'm closer to find the truth.You're with me every time I comfort one of the children or try to find the right words to gently chastise4 them.I listen for your words of wisdom and they come from within me because your greatest gift to me was teaching me how to be a good mother to my own children.
And although you're no longer here with us，I know in times of sadness or pain the children feel their mothers' arms around them just as I sense that I feel your arms around me，too.In years to come I hope your gift to me will be passed to my own children's children.And I know it's your voice telling me in these changing times the best thing we can give our children is love，because love is eternal and love doesn't die.So long for now，and thank you from all of us.
Happy Mother's Day，Mum.
Love，
Carol
亲爱的妈妈：
以前我很少给您写信，因为我们总能够在电话上聊上一会，如今真要给您写，倒不知如何下笔了。
当然，我可以用那些书信的套话——我们都非常想念您，并希望您永远万事如意。
您离开我们以后，我用了好长一段时间来调整自己的心情，我知道再也见不到您了，那情形就好像您要离开我们去旅行，或者像我们一周多没有通过电话了一样。
我现在才意识到还有好多话要对您讲——就像大家常说的那样——好多问题也还没有来得及问。其实都是一些愚蠢的问题，就像昨天，我在洗衣服的时候就特别想知道您拥有第一台自动洗衣机时的感受。我还小的时候您用的那台旧洗衣机仍旧清晰在目。事实上，有关您的许多事情，我大多都清楚。
没有您在身边，爸爸的日子很难捱，他的孤独与寂寞几乎让我都无法忍受，因为对此我也无能为力。我想，他迟早会重新燃起生命的热情，开启新的生活。但是目前，他似乎只是在期待着与您再团聚的那一天。
时日推移，我和埃米莉的关系慢慢好些了，从某种意义上说，您的离去让我们变得更密切，似乎彼此更了解对方，或许我们姐妹间的关系最终会真正亲密起来的。
在过去的几个星期里，我们俩相互鼓励，相互安慰。以前，或许是有您给了我们精神力量，我们就无须从对方身上寻求。
我想，幸好我有了自己的孩子，我才可以如此忙碌，而不至于有太多时间沉湎于悲伤。但是有时候，我也渴望能有片刻的安宁，让我独自静静地思念您。
在您去世后的几周里，我的脑子里一片混乱，在记忆深处不断地搜寻那些对自己和您都很特殊的事。一天，我突然想到那次我们在一些花园的特殊旅行。
记得那天，倾盆大雨下个不停，但我们还是决定好好玩玩。我喜欢单独与您呆在一起，没有孩子们的吵闹声来分散您的注意力。雨中的花园依然很漂亮，您买了一朵玫瑰送给我，我非常喜欢，真希望把它种在自家的花园里。
您去世后不久，我真希望能像爸爸和埃米莉那样，轻松地感受到您就在我的身边。当我出去散步时，常常会仰望蓝天，不知道您是否能看见我，或者与我同在。晚上，我就想，您会不会像某些人信仰的那样，变成一颗星星。
但是，随着时间的流逝，我认为差不多找到了那种真实的感觉。就在我安慰或者试着找些恰当的话语来责备一个孩子时，我觉得您与我同在，您充满智慧的语言便会从我内心深处传来。因为这是您留给我最珍贵的礼物，教导我如何才能成为自己孩子的好妈妈。
虽然您已不再和我们一起生活了，但我知道悲伤和痛苦时，孩子们仍能感受到母亲怀抱的温暖，就像我能感觉到您拥抱着我一样。在未来的日子里，我希望将您留给我的礼物传给自己的子孙。您曾经对我说，在这个瞬息万变的时代，我们能留给孩子最好的东西就是爱，因为爱是永恒的，它永远都不会消失。就此停笔吧，再见，我们衷心感谢的妈妈。
母亲节快乐，妈妈！
爱您的
卡罗尔
生词与短语 New Words and Expressions
1.apply v.适用
2.sink in v.被理解，被理会
3.dwell on v.老是想着，详述
4.chastise v.责骂，严惩
妙语连珠：Beautiful Sentences
I don't have much time to dwell on my sadness but sometimes I crave the peace to just have a private think about you.
我不至于有太多时间沉湎于悲伤。但是有时候，我也渴望能有片刻的安宁，让我独自静静地思念您。
心灵感悟：
How the world's mother is similar to！Their heart has always been the same；every mother has a very innocent child's point.
—Whitman
全世界的母亲多么的相像啊！她们的心始终一样。每一位母亲都有一颗极为纯真的赤子之心。
——惠特曼