Joni （pronounced Johnny） was an athletic seventeen-year-old swimmer and equestrian from Maryland who was just a few weeks away from her first semester of college when she broke her neck while diving into a lake. She was paralyzed from the neck down in that 1967 accident. In her book she wrote about her initial despair and thoughts of suicide because of her paralysis， but eventually she came to believe that “it wasn’t some flip of the coin in the cosmos， some turn in the universe‘s roulette wheel. It was part of God’s plan for me.”
I loved that book， and then my mum bought a CD of Joni‘s songs， which were the first I’d ever heard with lyrics about how “we‘ve all got wheels” and how much fun you could have in a wheelchair and how “nobody’s perfect.” I played those tapes over and over as a child in Australia， and I still catch myself humming them today. You can imagine how amazing it was when I was invited to meet Joni for the first time.
I was visiting the United States in 2003 to speak at a church in California. After my talk a young woman who worked for Joni introduced herself and invited me to come to the headquarters for her charitable organization， Joni and Friends， in Agoura Hills.
During my visit I was star-struck when she came into the room. She leaned in to give me a hug， and we had this great moment. Joni doesn‘t have much body strength because of her quadriplegia， so when she leaned in to me she had trouble pulling her body back into her wheelchair. Instinctively， I used my body to give her a gentle push backward into her chair.
“You’re very strong！” she said.
I was thrilled to hear that， of course. This amazing woman who had given me strength and faith and hope as a child was telling me that I was strong. Joni shared that， like me， she struggled with her disability at first. She considered driving her wheelchair off a high bridge but worried that she would only injure her brain and make her life even more miserable. Finally， she prayed， God， if I can‘t die， show me how to live.
Shortly after that accident， a friend gave Joni a copy of a Bible verse that says， “In everything give thanks， for this is the will of God and Christ Jesus concerning you.” Joni was not deeply religious at the time. She was still angry and frustrated over her paralysis and she wasn’t buying that message.
“You can‘t be serious，” Joni said. “I don’t feel thankful for this. No way.”
Her friend told her that she didn‘t have to feel thankful for being paralyzed. All she had to do was to take a leap of faith and give thanks for the blessings to come.
It was hard for Joni to buy into that concept. At that point she felt like a victim， and that’s what she called herself， “a victim of a terrible diving accident.” At first she blamed everyone but herself for her quadriplegia， and she wanted everyone to pay. She sued. She demanded. She even blamed her parents for bringing her into a world in which she could become paralyzed.
Joni felt the world owed her something because she‘d lost the use of her arms and legs. She eventually came to realize that victim-hood is an easy place to hide. We can all claim to be the victims of one misfortune or another. Some people feel like victims because they were born into poverty. Others claim to be victims because their parents are divorced， or they have poor health， or bad jobs， or they aren’t as thin or as tall or as beautiful as they want to be.
When we feel entitled to the good in life， we feel robbed and outraged when something happens to make us uncomfortable. We then look to blame others and demand that they pay for our discomfort， whatever it might be. In a self-centered state of mind， we become professional victims. Yet pity parties are the most tedious， unproductive， and unrewarding events you could ever attend. You can only listen to “Poor， Poor Pitiful Me” so many times before you want to tear your hair out and run for cover.
Like Joni， you should reject the victim role because there is no future in it. She says that suffering brings us to a fork in the road， and we can choose the downward path to despair or we can take the hopeful path up the hill by adopting an attitude of gratitude. You may find it difficult at first to be grateful， but if you just decide not to be a victim and take it day by day， strength will come. If you can‘t find any aspect of your situation to be grateful for， then focus on good days ahead and express gratitude in advance. This will help build a sense of optimism while getting your mind off the past and looking toward the future.
“I realized that the path away from self-destruction was traced somewhere in the pages of the Bible； and it didn’t take long to discover that well-worn truth： ‘Take one day at a time in the strength of God and you will become more than a conqueror，’ “ Joni told me.
Joni discovered that playing the victim only dragged her down further than her paralysis had taken her， but being thankful for the blessings you have and the blessings to come raises you up. That attitude can change your life just as it has changed Joni‘s and mine. Instead of being angry and resentful over our disabilities， we’ve built joyful and fulfi lling lives.
An attitude of gratitude truly changed her life， and she in turn helped change my life and the lives of so many others who have been helped by her best-selling inspirational books and DVDs. Her Joni and Friends nonprofit organization operates Wheels for the World， a program that has distributed more than ty thousand free wheelchairs， not to mention thousands of crutches， canes， and walkers， to disabled people in 102 countries.
Joni is a quadriplegic. I have no arms and no legs. Yet we each found a purpose and pursued it. We embraced hope over despair. We put our faith in God and the future. We accepted that we are imperfect human beings with blessings of value. We chose positive attitudes fueled with gratitude， and we put them into action to change our lives and the lives of others.
That‘s not a poster—it’s the truth. By choosing an attitude of gratitude over one of victimhood or bitterness or despair， you too can overcome whatever challenges you face. But if you find gratitude hard to come by， there are other approaches that might work for you.
2. An Attitude of Action