But what if you just can‘t love yourself because no one else loves you？ I’m afraid that is simply not possible. You see， you and I are God‘s children. Each of us can count on His unconditional love， His mercy， and His forgiveness. We should love ourselves， be understanding of our imperfections， and forgiving of our mistakes because God does all of that for us.
During a tour of South America I spoke at a drug rehabilitation center in Colombia. The addicts and former addicts in my audience had so little regard for their value as human beings that they’d nearly destroyed themselves with drugs. I told them that God loved them no matter how long they‘d been addicted. Their faces lit up when I assured them， through an interpreter， that God loved them unconditionally. If God is willing to forgive our sins and love us like that， why can’t we forgive and accept ourselves？ Like the daughter of the Singapore banker， these Colombian drug users lost their way because， for whatever reasons， they devalued their lives. They felt they were unworthy of the best that life had to offer. I told them that we are all worthy of God‘s love. If He forgives us and loves us， we should forgive and love ourselves and then strive for the best life possible.
When Jesus was asked to name the most important commandments， he said the first was to love God with all your heart， soul， mind， and strength， and the second was to love your neighbor as yourself. Loving yourself is not about being selfish， self-satisfied， or self-centered； it’s about accepting your life as a gift to be nurtured and shared as a blessing to others.
Instead of dwelling on your imperfections， your failings， or your mistakes， focus on your blessings and the contribution you can make， whether it‘s a talent， knowledge， wisdom， creativity， hard work， or a nurturing soul. You don’t have to live up to anyone else‘s expectations. You can define your own version of perfection.
SHINE FROM WITHIN
The psychiatrist and author Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said people are like stained-glass windows： “They sparkle and shine when the sun is out， but when darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” To live without limits and especially to survive the darkness of depression， drug addiction， alcoholism， or any major challenge， you must switch on that light within. You must believe in your own beauty and value as someone who can make a difference， someone who matters.
Finding your purpose is the first important step to living a life without limits. Maintaining hope for the future and faith in the possibilities even in difficult times will keep you moving toward that goal. But to be fulfilled， you must know in your heart that you are worthy of success and happiness. You must love yourself， just as God loves all who are faithful.
I have a friend who is so comfortable with himself， so at peace and enthused about developing his gifts， that he just seems to radiate good feelings. I love being with him. Everyone loves being with him. Why？ Because he shines from within. He loves himself， but not in a “you’re so vain” way； he accepts himself as blessed， even when events don‘t go his way， even though he struggles just like you and me.
I’m sure you know people who give off that same comfortable vibe， just as you probably know the opposite sort of person whose bitterness and self-loathing drive everyone away. If you don‘t accept yourself， it not only leads to self-destruction， it leads to isolation.
If you don’t shine from within， it may be because you rely on others to validate you， to give you confidence， and to make you feel appreciated. But that is a sure road to disappointment because you must accept yourself first. The only important measure of your beauty and value as a person should be the one that comes from within.
I know， easy to say， tough to do. I‘ve struggled with this too. As the child of Christian parents， I’d always been taught that Jesus loved me and that I was created perfectly according to His plan. Of course， all my parents‘ Bible teachings and all my family’s efforts to lift me up came crashing down as soon as one snotty little kid ran up to me and screamed， “You‘re a freak！”
Life can be cruel. People can be thoughtless or just plain mean. So you must be able to look inside for strength， and when that inner strength fails， you can always look above， to God， the ultimate source of strength and love.
Self-acceptance and self-love are important but often misunderstood concepts these days. You should love yourself as a reflection of God’s love and as someone put on this earth to make a unique contribution. Too many teens and adults settle for a more superficial meaning when they buy into the extremes of narcissism and self-indulgence. This is due， in no little part， to the cult of beauty and celebrity promoted on reality shows， movies， podcasts， and videos. When you watch those shows， it is easy to forget that life has a greater purpose than looking good， living in luxury， and hooking up. No wonder more celebrities are in rehab than in church. Too many of them worship the false gods of vanity， pride， and lust.
I can‘t imagine that any previous generation has been lied to as much as the present ones. We are continually bombarded with messages that we need to have a certain look， a certain car， and a certain lifestyle in order to be fulfilled， loved， appreciated， or considered successful. We’ve come to a dangerous point in our culture when being in a sexvideo is considered a path to fame， fortune， and fulfillment.
Don‘t you think this would be a better world if the paparazzi followed college graduates with advanced degrees， or missionaries bringing medicine and hope to the poor and needy， instead of stalking rehab dropouts with rap sheets and needle scars？ But all is not lost. I’ve seen huge throngs of people， young and old， attend religious ceremonies and festivals of praise， seeking contentment by learning to love their neighbor. I‘ve watched teens and adults spend their vacations building homes in Third World countries and serving the needy in impoverished areas of North America. Not everyone is obsessed with plastic surgery， liposuction， and Louis Vuitton bags.