"I went to bed greatly agitated;for the mystery,far from being explained,seemed to me more obscure than ever.I foresaw some strange drama indeed,for I understood that there could be no vulgar difference between the woman that Count could choose and such a character as his.The events which had driven the Countess to leave a man so noble,so amiable,so perfect,so loving,so worthy to be loved,must have been singular,to say the least.M.de Grandville's remark had been like a torch flung into the caverns over which I had so long been walking;and though the flame lighted them but dimly,my eyes could perceive their wide extent!I could imagine the Count's sufferings without knowing their depths or their bitterness.That sallow face,those parched temples,those overwhelming studies,those moments of absentmindedness,the smallest details of the life of this married bachelor,all stood out in luminous relief during the hour of mental questioning,which is,as it were,the twilight before sleep,and to which any man would have given himself up,as I did.
"Oh!how I loved my poor master!He seemed to me sublime.I read a poem of melancholy,I saw perpetual activity in the heart I had accused of being torpid.Must not supreme grief always come at last to stagnation?Had this judge,who had so much in his power,ever revenged himself?Was he feeding himself on her long agony?Is it not a remarkable thing in Paris to keep anger always seething for ten years?What had Octave done since this great misfortune--for the separation of husband and wife is a great misfortune in our day,when domestic life has become a social question,which it never was of old?
"We allowed a few days to pass on the watch,for great sorrows have a diffidence of their own;but at last,one evening,the Count said in a grave voice:
"'Stay.'
"This,as nearly as may be,is his story.
"'My father had a ward,rich and lovely,who was sixteen at the time when I came back from college to live in this old house.Honorine,who had been brought up by my mother,was just awakening to life.Full of grace and of childish ways,she dreamed of happiness as she would have dreamed of jewels;perhaps happiness seemed to her the jewel of the soul.Her piety was not free from puerile pleasures;for everything,even religion,was poetry to her ingenuous heart.She looked to the future as a perpetual fete.Innocent and pure,no delirium had disturbed her dream.Shame and grief had never tinged her cheek nor moistened her eye.She did not even inquire into the secret of her involuntary emotions on a fine spring day.And then,she felt that she was weak and destined to obedience,and she awaited marriage without wishing for it.Her smiling imagination knew nothing of the corruption --necessary perhaps--which literature imparts by depicting the passions;she knew nothing of the world,and was ignorant of all the dangers of society.The dear child had suffered so little that she had not even developed her courage.In short,her guilelessness would have led her to walk fearless among serpents,like the ideal figure of Innocence a painter once created.We lived together like two brothers.
"'At the end of a year I said to her one day,in the garden of this house,by the basin,as we stood throwing crumbs to the fish:
"'"Would you like that we should be married?With me you could do whatever you please,while another man would make you unhappy.""'"Mamma,"said she to my mother,who came out to join us,"Octave and I have agreed to be married----""'"What!at seventeen?"said my mother."No,you must wait eighteen months;and if eighteen months hence you like each other,well,your birth and fortunes are equal,you can make a marriage which is suitable,as well as being a love match.""'When I was six-and-twenty,and Honorine nineteen,we were married.
Our respect for my father and mother,old folks of the Bourbon Court,hindered us from making this house fashionable,or renewing the furniture;we lived on,as we had done in the past,as children.
However,I went into society;I initiated my wife into the world of fashion;and I regarded it as one of my duties to instruct her.
"'I recognized afterwards that marriages contracted under such circumstances as ours bear in themselves a rock against which many affections are wrecked,many prudent calculations,many lives.The husband becomes a pedagogue,or,if you like,a professor,and love perishes under the rod which,sooner or later,gives pain;for a young and handsome wife,at once discreet and laughter-loving,will not accept any superiority above that with which she is endowed by nature.
Perhaps I was in the wrong?During the difficult beginnings of a household I,perhaps,assumed a magisterial tone?On the other hand,Imay have made the mistake of trusting too entirely to that artless nature;I kept no watch over the Countess,in whom revolt seemed to me impossible?Alas!neither in politics nor in domestic life has it yet been ascertained whether empires and happiness are wrecked by too much confidence or too much severity!Perhaps again,the husband failed to realize Honorine's girlish dreams?Who can tell,while happy days last,what precepts he has neglected?'
"I remember only the broad outlines of the reproaches the Count addressed to himself,with all the good faith of an anatomist seeking the cause of a disease which might be overlooked by his brethren;but his merciful indulgence struck me then as really worthy of that of Jesus Christ when He rescued the woman taken in adultery.