BELLO (Peremptorily.) Answer. Repugnant wretch！ I insist on knowing. Tell me something to amuse me， smut or a bloody good-ghoststory or a line of poetry， quick， quick， quick！ Where？ How？ What time？ With how many？ I give you just three seconds. One！ Two！ Thr... ！
BLOOM (Docile， gurgles.) I rererepugnosed in rerererepugnant...
BELLO (Imperiously.) O get out， you skunk！ Hold your tongue！ Speak when you're spoken to.
BLOOM (Bows.) Master！ Mistress！ Mantamer！
(He lifts his arms. His bangle bracelets fall.)BELLO (Satirically.) By day you will souse and bat our smelling underclothes， also when we ladies are unwell， and swab out our latrines with dress pinned up and a dishclout tied to your tail. Won't that be nice？ (He places a ruby ring on her finger.) And there now！ With this ring I thee own. Say， thank you， mistress.
BLOOM Thank you， mistress.
BELLO You will make the beds， get my tub ready， empty the pisspots in the different rooms， including old Mrs Keogh's the cook's， a sandy one. Ay， and rinse the seven of them well， mind， or lap it up like champagne. Drink me piping hot. Hop！ you will dance attendance or I'll lecture you on your misdeeds， Miss Ruby， and spank your bare bot right well， miss， with the hairbrush. You'll be taught the error of your ways. At night your wellcreamed braceleted hands will wear fortythreebutton gloves newpowdered with talc and having delicately scented fingertips. For such favours knights of old laid down their lives. (He chuckles.) My boys will be no end charmed to see you so ladylike， the colonel， above all. When they come here the night before the wedding to fondle my new attraction in gilded heels. First， I'll have a go at you myself. A man I know on the turf named Charles Alberta Marsh (I was in bed with him just now and another gentleman out of the Hanaper and Petty Bag office) is on the lookout for a maid of all work at a short knock. Swell the bust. Smile. Droop shoulders. What offers？ (He points.) For that lot trained by owner to fetch and carry， basket in mouth. (He bares his arm and plunges it elbowdeep in Bloom's vulva.) There's fine depth for you！ What， boys？ That give you a hardon？ (He shoves his arm in a bidder's face.) Here， wet the deck and wipe it round！
A BIDDER A florin！
(Dillon's lacquey rings his handbell.)
A VOICE One and eightpence too much.
THE LACQUEY Barang！
CHARLES ALBERTA MARSH Must be virgin. Good breath. Clean.
BELLO (Gives a rap with his gavel.) Two bar. Rockbottom figure and cheap at the price. Fourteen hands high. Touch and examine his points. Handle him. This downy skin， these soft muscles， this tender flesh. If I had only my gold piercer here！ And quite easy to milk. Three newlaid gallons a day. A pure stock getter， due to lay within the hour. His sire's milk record was a thousand gallons of whole milk in forty weeks. Whoa， my jewel！ Beg up！ Whoa！ (He brands his initial Con Bloom's croup.) So！ Warranted Cohen！ What advance on two bob， gentlemen？
A DARKVISAGED MAN (In disguised accent.) Hoondert punt sterlink.
VOICES (Subdued.) For the Caliph Haroun Al Raschid.
BELLO (Gaily.) Right. Let them all come. The scanty， daringly short skirt， riding up at the knee to show a peep of white pantalette， is a potent weapon and transparent stockings， emeraldgartered， with the long straight seam trailing up beyond the knee， appeal to the better instincts of the blasé man about town. Learn the smooth mincing walk on four inch Louis XV heels， the Grecian bend with provoking croup， the thighs fluescent， knees modestly kissing. Bring all your power of fascination to bear on them. Pander to their Gomorrahan vices.
BLOOM (Bends his blushing face into his armpit and simpers with forefinger in mouth.) O， I know what you're hinting at now.
BELLO What else are you good for， an impotent thing like you？ (He stoops and， peering， pokes with his fan rudely under the fat suetfolds of Bloom's haunches.) Up！ Up！ Manx cat！ What have we here？ Where's your curly teapot gone to or who docked it on you， cockyolly？ Sing， birdy， sing. It's as limp as a boy of six's doing his pooly behind a cart. Buy a bucket or sell your pump. (Loudly.) Can you do a man's job？
BLOOM Eccles Street.
BELLO (Sarcastically.) I wouldn't hurt your feelings for the world but there's a man of brawn in possession there. The tables are turned， my gay young fellow！ He is something like a fullgrown outdoor man. Well for you， you muff， if you had that weapon with knobs and lumps and warts all over it. He shot his bolt， I can tell you！ Foot to foot， knee to knee， belly to belly， bubs to breast！ He's no eunuch. A shock of red hair he has sticking out of him behind like a furzebush！ Wait for nine months， my lad！ Holy ginger， it's kicking and coughing up and down in her guts already！ That makes you wild， don't it？ Touches the spot？ (He spits in contempt.) Spittoon！
BLOOM I was indecently treated， I... inform the police. Hundred pounds. Unmentionable. I.
BELLO Would if you could， lame duck. A downpour we want， not your drizzle.
BLOOM To drive me mad！ Moll！ I forgot！ Forgive！ Moll！... We... Still...
BELLO (Ruthlessly.) No， Leopold Bloom， all is changed by woman's will since you slept horizontal in Sleepy Hollow your night of twenty years. Return and see.
(Old Sleepy Hollow calls over the wold.)
SLEEPY HOLLOW Rip Van Winkle！ Rip Van Winkle！
BLOOM (In tattered moccasins with a rusty fowlingpiece， tip toeing， fingertipping， his haggard bony bearded face peering through the diamond panes， cries out.) I see her！ It's she！ The first night at Mat Dillon's！ But that dress， the green！ And her hair is dyed gold and he.
BELLO (Laughs mockingly.) That's your daughter， you owl， with a Mullingar student.
(Milly Bloom， fairhaired， greenvested， slimsandalled， her bluescab in the seawind simply swirling， breaks from the arms of her lover and calls， her young eyes wonderwide.)MILLY My！ It's Papli！ But. O Papli， how old you've grown！