He sobbed and he sighed, and a gurgle he gave, Then he plunged himself into the billowy wave, And an echo arose from the suicide's grave--"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"Now I feel just as sure as I'm sure that my name Isn't Willow, titwillow, titwillow, That 'twas blighted affection that made him exclaim "Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"And if you remain callous and obdurate, IShall perish as he did, and you will know why, Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die, "Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"(During this song Katisha has been greatly affected, and at the end is almost in tears.)KAT.(whimpering).Did he really die of love?
KO.He really did.
KAT.All on account of a cruel little hen?
KO.Yes.
KAT.Poor little chap!
KO.It's an affecting tale, and quite true.I knew the bird intimately.
KAT.Did you? He must have been very fond of her.
KO.His devotion was something extraordinary.
KAT.(still whimpering).Poor little chap! And--and if Irefuse you, will you go and do the same?
KO.At once.
KAT.No, no--you mustn't! Anything but that! (Falls on his breast.) Oh, I'm a silly little goose!
KO.(making a wry face).You are!
KAT.And you won't hate me because I'm just a little teeny weeny wee bit bloodthirsty, will you?
KO.Hate you? Oh, Katisha! is there not beauty even in bloodthirstiness?
KAT.My idea exactly.
DUET--KATISHA and KO-KO.
KAT.There is beauty in the bellow of the blast, There is grandeur in the growling of the gale, There is eloquent outpouring When the lion is a-roaring, And the tiger is a-lashing of his tail!
KO.Yes, I like to see a tiger From the Congo or the Niger, And especially when lashing of his tail!
KAT.Volcanoes have a splendor that is grim, And earthquakes only terrify the dolts, But to him who's scientific There's nothing that's terrific In the falling of a flight of thunderbolts!
KO.Yes, in spite of all my meekness, If I have a little weakness, It's a passion for a flight of thunderbolts!
BOTH.If that is so, Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very, Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go, And merrily marry, Nor tardily tarry Till day is done!
KO.There is beauty in extreme old age--Do you fancy you are elderly enough?
Information I'm requesting On a subject interesting:
Is a maiden all the better when she's tough?
KAT.Throughout this wide dominion It's the general opinion That she'll last a good deal longer when she's tough.
KO.Are you old enough to marry, do you think?
Won't you wait till you are eighty in the shade?
There's a fascination frantic In a ruin that's romantic;Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?
KAT.To the matter that you mention I have given some attention, And I think I am sufficiently decayed.
BOTH.If that is so, Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very, Our tastes are one!
Away we'll go, And merrily marry, Nor tardily tarry Till day is done!
[Exeunt together.
Flourish.Enter the Mikado, attended by Pish-Tush and Court.
MIK.Now then, we've had a capital lunch, and we're quite ready.Have all the painful preparations been made?
PISH.Your Majesty, all is prepared.
MIK.Then produce the unfortunate gentleman and his two well-meaning but misguided accomplices.
Enter Ko-Ko, Katisha, Pooh-Bah, and Pitti-Sing.They throw themselves at the Mikado's feetKAT.Mercy! Mercy for Ko-Ko! Mercy for Pitti-Sing! Mercy even for Pooh-Bah!
MIK.I beg your pardon, I don't think I quite caught that remark.
POOH.Mercy even for Pooh-Bah.
KAT.Mercy! My husband that was to have been is dead, and I have just married this miserable object.
MIK.Oh! You've not been long about it!
KO.We were married before the Registrar.
POOH.I am the Registrar.
MIK.I see.But my difficulty is that, as you have slain the Heir Apparent----Enter Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum.They kneel.
NANK.The Heir Apparent is not slain.
MIK.Bless my heart, my son!
YUM.And your daughter-in-law elected!
KAT.(seizing Ko-Ko).Traitor, you have deceived me!
MIK.Yes, you are entitled to a little explanation, but Ithink he will give it better whole than in pieces.
KO.Your Majesty, it's like this: It is true that I stated that I had killed Nanki-Poo----MIK.Yes, with most affecting particulars.
POOH.Merely corroborative detail intended to give artistic verisimilitude to a bald and----KO.Will you refrain from putting in your oar? (To Mikado.) It's like this: When your Majesty says, "Let a thing be done," it's as good as done--practically, it is done--because your Majesty's will is law.Your Majesty says, "Kill a gentleman," and a gentleman is told off to be killed.
Consequently, that gentleman is as good as dead--practically, he is dead--and if he is dead, why not say so?
MIK.I see.Nothing could possibly be more satisfactory!
FINALE.
PITTI.For he's gone and married Yum-Yum--ALL.Yum-Yum!
PITTI.Your anger pray bury, For all will be merry, I think you had better succumb--ALL.Cumb--cumb.
PITTI.And join our expressions of glee!
KO.On this subject I pray you be dumb--ALL.Dumb--dumb!
KO.Your notions, though many, Are not worth a penny, The word for your guidance is "Mum"--ALL.Mum--Mum!
KO.You've a very good bargain in me.
ALL.On this subject we pray you be dumb--Dumb--dumb!
We think you had better succumb--
Cumb--cumb!
You'll find there are many Who'll wed for a penny, There are lots of good fish in the sea.
YUM.and NANK.The threatened cloud has passed away, And brightly shines the dawning day;What though the night may come too soon, We've years and years of afternoon!
ALL.Then let the throng Our joy advance, With laughing song And merry dance, With joyous shout and ringing cheer, Inaugurate our new career!
Then let the throng, etc.
CURTAIN.
THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE
OR
THE SLAVE OF DUTY
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
MAJOR-GENERAL STANLEY
THE PIRATE KING
SAMUEL (his Lieutenant)
SERGEANT OF POLICE