And Iron and Steel expressed surprise, The needles opened their well-drilled eyes, The penknives felt "shut up", no doubt, The scissors declared themselves "cut out", The kettles they boiled with rage, 'tis said, While ev'ry nail went off its head, And hither and thither began to roam, Till a hammer came up and drove them home.
MAIDENSIt drove them home?
GROSVENOR It drove them home!
While this magnetic, Peripatetic Lover he lived to learn, By no endeavour Can magnet ever Attract a Silver Churn!
MAIDENS While this magnetic, Peripatetic Lover he lived to learn,MAIDENS and GROSVENOR By no endeavour Can magnet ever Attract a Silver Churn!
[They go off in low spirits, R.U.E., gazing back at him from time to time.]
GROS.At last they are gone! What is this mysterious fascination that I seem to exercise over all I come across? Acurse on my fatal beauty, for I am sick of conquests! [Goes R.]
[Enter PATIENCE, L.Stops L.C.on seeing GROSVENOR.]
GROS.[Turns and sees her.] Patience!
PATIENCE I have escaped with difficulty from my Reginald.Iwanted to see you so much that I might ask you if you still love me as fondly as ever?
GROS.Love you? If the devotion of a lifetime-- [seizing her hand.]
PATIENCE [indignantly] Hold! Unhand me, or I scream! [He releases her.] If you are a gentleman, pray remember that I am another's! [very tenderly.] But you do love me, don't you?
GROS.Madly, hopelessly, despairingly!
PATIENCE That's right! I never can be yours; but that's right!
GROS.And you love this Bunthorne?
PATIENCE With a heart-whole ecstasy that withers, and scorches, and burns, and stings! [sadly] It is my duty.
GROS.Admirable girl! But you are not happy with him?
PATIENCE Happy? I am miserable beyond description!
GROS.That's right! I never can be yours; but that's right!
PATIENCE But go now.I see dear Reginald approaching.
Farewell, dear Archibald; I cannot tell you how happy it has made me to know that you still love me.
GROS.Ah, if I only dared-- [advancing towards her]
PATIENCE Sir! this language to one who is promised to another!
[tenderly] Oh, Archibald, think of me sometimes, for my heart is breaking! He is unkind to me, and you would be so loving!
GROS.Loving! [advancing towards her]
PATIENCE Advance one step, and as I am a good and pure woman, Iscream! [tenderly] Farewell, Archibald! [sternly] Stop there!
[tenderly] Think of me sometimes! [angrily] Advance at your peril! Once more, adieu!
[GROSVENOR sighs, gazes sorrowfully at her, sighs deeply, and exits, R.She bursts into tears.]
[Enter BUNTHORNE, followed by JANE.He is moody and preoccupied.]
In a doleful train (Solo)
JaneJANE In a doleful train One and one I walk all day;For I love in vain--None so sorrowful as they Who can only sigh and say, Woe is me, alackaday!
BUN.[seeing PATIENCE] Crying, eh? What are you crying about?
PATIENCE I've only been thinking how dearly I love you!
BUN.Love me! Bah!
JANE Love him! Bah!
BUN.[to JANE] Don't you interfere.
JANE He always crushes me!
PATIENCE [going to him] What is the matter, dear Reginald? If you have any sorrow, tell it to me, that I may share it with you.
[sighing] It is my duty!
BUN.[snappishly] Whom were you talking with just now?
PATIENCE With dear Archibald.
BUN.[furiously] With dear Archibald! Upon my honour, this is too much!
JANE A great deal too much!
BUN.[angrily to JANE] Do be quiet!
JANE Crushed again!
PATIENCE I think he is the noblest, purest, and most perfect being I have ever met.But I don't love him.It is true that he is devotedly attached to me, but I don't love him.Whenever he grows affectionate, I scream.It is my duty! [sighing]
BUN.I dare say!
JANE So do I! I dare say!
PATIENCE Why, how could I love him and love you too? You can't love two people at once!
BUN.Oh, can't you, though!
PATIENCE No, you can't; I only wish you could.
BUN.I don't believe you know what love is!
PATIENCE [sighing] Yes, I do.There was a happy time when Ididn't, but a bitter experience has taught me.
[BUNTHORNE, noticing that JANE is not looking at him, goes off quickly up R.She turns, sees him, and runs after him.]
No.14.Love is a plaintive song (Solo)
PatiencePATIENCE Love is a plaintive song, Sung by a suff'ring maid, Telling a tale of wrong, Telling of hope betrayed;Tuned to each changing note, Sorry when he is sad, Blind to his ev'ry mote, Merry when he is glad!
Merry when he is glad!
Love that no wrong can cure, Love that is always new, That is the love that's pure, That is the love that's true!
Love that no wrong can cure, Love that is always new, That is the love that's pure, That is the love, the love that's true!
Rendering good for ill, Smiling at ev'ry frown, Yielding your own self-will, Laughing your teardrops down;Never a selfish whim, Trouble, or pain to stir;Everything for him, Nothing at all for her!
Nothing at all for her!
Love that will aye endure, Though the rewards be few, That is the love that's pure, That is the love that's true!
Love that will aye endure, Though the rewards be few, That is the love that's pure, That is the love, the love that's true!
[At the end of ballad exit PATIENCE, L., weeping.Enter BUNTHORNE, R., JANE following.]
BUN.Everything has gone wrong with me since that smug-faced idiot came here.Before that I was admired -- I may say, loved.
JANE Too mild -- adored!
BUN.Do let a poet soliloquize! The damozels used to follow me wherever I went; now they all follow him!
JANE Not all! I am still faithful to you.
BUN.Yes, and a pretty damozel you are!
JANE No, not pretty.Massive.Cheer up! I will never leave you, I swear it!
BUN.Oh, thank you! I know what it is; it's his confounded mildness.They find me too highly spiced, if you please! And no doubt I am highly spiced.
JANE Not for my taste!
BUN.[savagely] No, but I am for theirs.But I will show the world I can be as mild as he.If they want insipidity, they shall have it.I'll meet this fellow on his own ground and beat him on it.
JANE You shall.And I will help you.
BUN.You will? Jane, there's a good deal of good in you, after all!