For I am blithe and I Yes, she is blithe and she is am gay, gay, Think of the gulf `twixt Yes, she is blithe and she is them and me, gay, Think of the gulf `twixt Yes, she is blithe and she is them and me, gay, Fal la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la, and miserie! Ah, miserie!
ANGELA Ah, Patience, if you have never loved, you have never known true happiness! [All sigh.]
PATIENCE [C.] But the truly happy always seem to have so much on their minds.The truly happy never seem quite well.
JANE [coming L.C.] There is a transcendentality of delirium --an acute accentuation of supremest ecstasy -- which the earthy might easily mistake for indigestion.But it is not indigestion -- it is aesthetic transfiguration! [to the others.] Enough of babble.Come!
PATIENCE [stopping her as she turns to go up C.] But stay, Ihave some news for you.The 35th Dragoon Guards have halted in the village, and are even now on their way to this very spot.
ANGELA The 35th Dragoon Guards!
SAPHIR They are fleshly men, of full habit!
ELLA We care nothing for Dragoon Guards!
PATIENCE But, bless me, you were all engaged to them a year ago!
SAPHIR A year ago!
ANGELA My poor child, you don't understand these things.A year ago they were very well in our eyes, but since then our tastes have been etherealized, our perceptions exalted.[to the others]
Come, it is time to lift up our voices in morning carol to our Reginald.Let us to his door!
[ANGELA leading, the Ladies go off, two and two, Jane last, over the drawbridge into the castle, singing refrain of "Twenty love-sick maidens", and, as before, accompanying themselves on harps, etc.]
No.2a.Twenty love-sick maidens we (Chorus)MaidensMAIDENS Twenty love-sick maidens we, Love-sick all against our will.
Twenty years hence we shall be Twenty love-sick maidens still!
Ah, miserie!
[PATIENCE watches them in surprise, and, with a gesture of complete bafflement, climbs the rock and goes off the way she entered.]
[The officers of the DRAGOON GUARDS enter, R., led by the MAJOR.
They form their line across the front of the stage.]
No.3.The soldiers of our Queen (Chorus and Solo)Dragoons and ColonelDRAGOONS The soldiers of our Queen Are linked in friendly tether;Upon the battle scene They fight the foe together.
There ev'ry mother's son Prepared to fight and fall is;The enemy of one The enemy of all is!
The enemy of one The enemy of all is!
[On an order from the MAJOR they fall back.]
[Enter the COLONEL.All salute.]
COLONEL If you want a receipt for that popular mystery, [C.] Known to the world as a Heavy Dragoon,DRAGOONS [saluting] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
COLONEL Take all the remarkable people in history, Rattle them off to a popular tune.
DRAGOONS Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
COLONEL The pluck of Lord Nelson on board of the Victory--Genius of Bismarck devising a plan--The humour of Fielding (which sounds contradictory)--Coolness of Paget about to trepan--The science of Jullien, the eminent musico--Wit of Macaulay, who wrote of Queen Anne--The pathos of Paddy, as rendered by Boucicault--Style of the Bishop of Sodor and Man--The dash of a D'Orsay, divested of quackery--Narrative powers of Dickens and Thackeray--Victor Emmanuel -- peak-haunting Peveril--Thomas Aquinas, and Doctor Sacheverell--
Tupper and Tennyson -- Daniel Defoe--
Anthony Trollope and Mister Guizot! Ah!
DRAGOONS Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
COLONEL DRAGOONS
Take of these elements allA Heavy Dragoon, that is fusible a Heavy Dragoon, Melt them all down in a A Heavy Dragoon, pipkin or crucible-- a Heavy Dragoon, Set them to simmer, A Heavy Dragoon, and take off the scum,a Heavy Dragoon, And a Heavy Dragoon Is the residuum!
is the residuum!
COLONEL If you want a receipt for this soldier-like paragon, Get at the wealth of the Czar (if you can)--The family pride of a Spaniard from Aragon--Force of Mephisto pronouncing a ban--
A smack of Lord Waterford, reckless and rollicky--Swagger of Roderick, heading his clan--The keen penetration of Paddington Pollaky--Grace of an Odalisque on a divan--
The genius strategic of Caesar or Hannibal--Skill of Sir Garnet in thrashing a cannibal--Flavour of Hamlet -- the Stranger, a touch of him--Little of Manfred (but not very much of him)--Beadle of Burlington -- Richardson's show--Mister Micawber and Madame Tussaud! Ah!
DRAGOONS Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
COLONEL DRAGOONS
Take of these elements allA Heavy Dragoon, that is fusible a Heavy Dragoon, Melt them all down in a A Heavy Dragoon, pipkin or crucible-- a Heavy Dragoon, Set them to simmer, A Heavy Dragoon, and take off the scum,a Heavy Dragoon, And a Heavy Dragoon Is the residuum!
is the residuum!
COLONEL Well, here we are once more on the scene of our former triumphs.But where's the Duke?
[Enter DUKE, listlessly, and in low spirits.]
DUKE Here I am! [Sighs.]
COLONEL Come, cheer up, don't give way!
DUKE Oh, for that, I'm as cheerful as a poor devil can be expected to be who has the misfortune to be a Duke, with a thousand a day!
MAJOR Humph! Most men would envy you!
DUKE Envy me? Tell me, Major, are you fond of toffee?
MAJOR Very!
COLONEL We are all fond of toffee.
ALL We are!
DUKE Yes, and toffee in moderation is a capital thing.But to live on toffee -- toffee for breakfast, toffee for dinner, toffee for tea -- to have it supposed that you care for nothing but toffee, and that you would consider yourself insulted if anything but toffee were offered to you -- how would you like that?
COLONEL I can quite believe that, under those circumstances, even toffee would become monotonous.
DUKE For "toffee" read flattery, adulation, and abject deference, carried to such a pitch that I began, at last, to think that man was born bent at an angle of forty-five degrees!
Great heavens, what is there to adulate in me? Am I particularly intelligent, or remarkably studious, or excruciatingly witty, or unusually accomplished, or exceptionally virtuous?
COLONEL You're about as commonplace a young man as ever I saw.
ALL You are!