FAIRFAX Now, dost thou know, I am consumed with a parlous jealousy?
ELSIE Thou? And of whom?
FAIRFAX Why, of this Fairfax, surely!
ELSIE Of Colonel Fairfax?
FAIRFAX Aye.Shall I be frank with thee? Elsie-- I love thee, ardently, passionately! [ELSIE alarmed and surprised]
Elsie, I have loved thee these two days-- which is a long time-- and I would fain join my life to thine!
ELSIE Master Leonard! Thou art jesting!
FAIRFAX Jesting? May I shrivel into raisins if I jest! I love thee with a love that is a fever-- with a love that is a frenzy-- with a love that eateth up my heart! What sayest thou? Thou wilt not let my heart be eaten up?
ELSIE [aside] Oh, mercy! What am I to say?
FAIRFAX Dost thou love me, or hast thou been insensible these two days?
ELSIE I love all brave men.
FAIRFAX Nay, there is love in excess.I thank heaven there are many brave men in England; but if thou lovest them all, I withdraw my thanks.
ELSIE I love the bravest best.But, sir, I may not listen--I am not free-- I-- I am a wife!
FAIRFAX Thou a wife? Whose? His name? His hours are numbered--nay, his grave is dug and his epitaph set up!
Come, his name?
ELSIE Oh, sir! keep my secret-- it is the only barrier that Fate could set up between us.My husband is none other than Colonel Fairfax!
FAIRFAX The greatest villain unhung! The most ill-favoured, ill-mannered, ill-natured, ill-omened, ill-tempered dog in Christendom!
ELSIE It is very like.He is naught to me-- for I never saw him.I was blindfolded, and he was to have died within the hour; and he did not die-- and I am wedded to him, and my heart is broken!
FAIRFAX He was to have died, and he did not die? The scoundrel! The perjured, traitorous villain! Thou shouldst have insisted on his dying first, to make sure.'Tis the only way with these Fairfaxes.
ELSIE I now wish I had!
FAIRFAX [aside] Bloodthirsty little maiden!
[Aloud] A fig for this Fairfax! Be mine-- he will never know-- he dares not show himself; and if he dare, what art thou to him? Fly with me, Elsie-- we will be married tomorrow, and thou shalt be the happiest wife in England!
ELSIE Master Leonard! I am amazed! Is it thus that brave soldiers speak to poor girls? Oh! for shame, for shame! I am wed-- not the less because I love not my husband.I am a wife, sir, and I have a duty, and-- oh, sir!-- thy words terrify me-- they are not honest-- they are wicked words, and unworthy thy great and brave heart! Oh,shame upon thee! shame upon thee!
FAIRFAX Nay, Elsie, I did but jest.I spake but to try thee--[Shot heard[Enter SERGEANT MERYLL hastilyNo.18.Hark! What was that, sir?
(SCENE)
Elsie, Phoebe, Dame Carruthers, Fairfax.Wilfred, Point, Lieutenant, SergeantMERYLL Hark! What was that, sir?
FAIRFAX Why, an arquebus--Fired from the wharf, unless I much mistake.
MERYLL Strange-- and at such an hour! What can it mean!
[Enter CHORUS excitedlyCHORUS Now what can that have been--A shot so late at night, Enough to cause a fright!
What can the portent mean?
Are foemen in the land?
Is London to be wrecked?
What are we to expect?
What danger is at hand?
Let us understand What danger is at hand!
[LIEUTENANT enters, also POINT and WILFREDLIEUT.Who fired that shot? At once the truth declare?
WILFREDMy lord, 'twas I-- to rashly judge forebear!
POINT My lord, 'twas he-- to rashly judge forebear!
WILFRED Like a ghost his vigil keeping--POINTOr a spectre all-appalling--WILFRED I beheld a figure creeping--POINTI should rather call it crawling--WILFRED He was creeping--POINT He was crawling--WILFRED He was creeping, creeping--POINT Crawling!
WILFRED He was creeping--
POINT He was crawling--WILFRED He was creeping, creeping--POINT Crawling!
WILFRED Not a moment's hesitation--I myself upon him flung, With a hurried exclamation To his draperies I hung;Then we closed with one another In a rough-and-tumble smother;Col'nel Fairfax and no other Was the man to whom I clung!
ALLCol'nel Fairfax and no other, Was the man to whom he clung!
WILFRED After mighty tug and tussle--POINTIt resembled more a struggle--WILFRED He, by dint of stronger muscle--POINTOr by some infernal juggle--WILFRED From my clutches quickly sliding--POINTI should rather call it slipping--WILFRED With a view, no doubt, of hiding--POINTOr escaping to the shipping--WILFRED With a gasp, and with a quiver--POINTI'd describe it as a shiver--WILFRED Down he dived into the river, And, alas, I cannot swim.
ALLIt's enough to make one shiver, With a gasp, and with a quiver, Down he dived into the river;It was very brave of him!
WILFRED Ingenuity is catching;With the view my King of pleasing, Arquebus from sentry snatching--POINTI should rather call it seizing--WILFRED With an ounce or two of lead I dispatched him through the head!
ALLWith an ounce or two of lead He dispatched him through the head!
WILFRED I discharged it without winking, Little time I lost in thinking, Like a stone I saw him sinking--POINTI should say a lump of lead.
ALLHe discharged it without winking, Little time he lost in thinking.
WILFRED Like a stone I saw him sinking--POINTI should say a lump of lead.
WILFRED Like a stone, my boy, I said--POINTLike a heavy lump of lead.
WILFRED Like a stone, my boy, I said--POINTLike a heavy lump of lead.
WILFRED Anyhow, the man is dead, Whether stone or lump of lead!
ALLAnyhow, the man is dead, Whether stone or lump of lead!
Arquebus from sentry seizing, With the view his King of pleasing, Arquebus from sentry seizing, With the view his King of pleasing, Wilfred shot him through the head, And he's very, very dead!
And it matters very little Whether stone or lump of lead, It is very, very certain that he's very, very dead!
LIEUT.The river must be dragged-- no time be lost;The body must be found, at any cost.
To this attend without undue delay;
So set to work with what dispatch ye may!
[Exit LIEUTENANT
ALLYes, yes, We'll set to work with what dispatch we may!
[Men raise WILFRED, and carry him off on their shoulders.
ALLHail the valiant fellow who Did this deed of derring-do!
Honours wait on such an one;