(Exit Zara.Enter King dressed as Field-Marshal.)King: To a Monarch who has been accustomed to the uncontrolled use of his limbs, the costume of a British Field-Marshal is, perhaps, at first, a little cramping.Are you sure that this is all right? It's not a practical joke, is it? No one has a keener sense of humor than I have, but the First Statutory Cabinet Council of Utopia Limited must be conduct-ed with dignity and impressiveness.Now, where are the other five who signed the Articles of Association?
Fitz.:Sir, they are here.
(Enter Lord Dramaleigh, Captain Corcoran, Sir Bailey Barre, Mr.
Blushington, and Mr.Goldbury from different entrances.)King: Oh! (Addressing them) Gentlemen, our daughter holds her first Drawing-Room in half an hour, and we shall have time to make our half-yearly report in the interval.I am neces-sarily unfamiliar with the forms of an English Cabinet Council--perhaps the Lord Chamberlain will kindly put us in the way of doing the thing properly, and with due regard to the solemnity of the occasion.
Lord D.: Certainly--nothing simpler.Kindly bring your chairs forward--His Majesty will, of course, preside.
(They range their chairs across stage like Christy Minstrels.King sits center, Lord Dramaleigh on his left, Mr.Goldbury on his right, Captain Corcoran left of Lord Dramaleigh, Captain Fitzbattleaxe right of Mr.Goldbury, Mr.Blushington extreme right, Sir Bailey Barre extreme left.)King: Like this?
Lord D.: Like this.
King: We take your word for it that this is all right.You are not making fun of us? This is in accordance with the prac-tice at the Court of St.James's?
Lord D.: Well, it is in accordance with the practice at the Court of St.James's Hall.
King: Oh! it seems odd, but never mind.
SONG -- King.
Society has quite forsaken all her wicked courses.
Which empties our police courts, and abolishes divorces.
Chorus: Divorce is nearly obsolete in England.
King: No tolerance we show to undeserving rank and splendour;For the higher his position is, the greater the offender.
Chorus: That's maxim that is prevalent in England.
King: No peeress at our drawing-room before the Presence passes Who wouldn't be accepted by the lower middle-classes.
Each shady dame, whatever be her rank, is bowed out neatly.
Chorus: In short, this happy country has been Anglicized completely Is really is surprising What a thorough Anglicizing We have brought about--Utopia's quite another land;In her enterprising movements, She is England--with improvements, Which we dutifully offer to our mother-land!
King: Our city we have beautified--we've done it willy-nilly--And all that isn't Belgrave Square is Strand and Piccadilly.
Chorus:We haven't any slummeries in England!
King: The chamberlain our native stage has purged beyond a ques-tion.
Of "risky" situation and indelicate suggestion;No piece is tolerated if it's costumed indiscreetly--Chorus:In short this happy country has been Anglicized com-pletely!
It really is surprising, etc.
King: Our peerage we've remodelled on an intellectual basis, Which certainly is rough on our hereditary races--Chorus:We are going to remodel it in England.
King: The Brewers and the Cotton Lords no longer seek admission, And literary merit meets with proper recognition--Chorus:As literary merit does in England!
King: Who knows but we may count among our intellectual chickens Like you, an Earl of Thackery and p'r'aps a Duke of Dickens--Lord Fildes and Viscount Millais (when they come) we'll welcome sweetly--Chorus: In short, this happy country has been Anglicized completely!
It really is surprising, etc.
(At the end all rise and replace their chairs.)King: Now, then for our first Drawing-Room.Where are the Prin-cesses? What an extraordinary thing it is that since Euro-pean looking-glasses have been supplied to the Royal bed-rooms my daughters are invariably late!
Lord D.: Sir, their Royal Highnesses await your pleasure in the Ante-room.
King: Oh.Then request them to do us the favor to enter at once.
(Enter all the Royal Household, including (besides the Lord Chamber-lain) the Vice-Chamberlain, the Master of the Horse, the Master of the Buckhounds, the Lord High Treasurer, the Lord Steward, the Comptroller of the Household, the Lord-in-Waiting, the Field Officer in Brigade Waiting, the Gold and Silver Stick, and the Gentlemen Ushers.Then enter the three Princesses (their trains carried by Pages of Honor), Lady Sophy, and the Ladies-in-Waiting.)King: My daughters, we are about to attempt a very solemn ceremo-nial, so no giggling, if you please.Now, my Lord Chamber-lain, we are ready.
Lord D.: Then, ladies and gentlemen, places, if you please.His Maj-esty will take his place in front of the throne, and will be so obliging as to embrace all the debutantes.(LADYSOPHYmuch shocked.)
King: What--must I really?
Lord D.: Absolutely indispensable.
King: More jam for the Palace Peeper!
(The King takes his place in front of the throne, the Princess Zara on his left, the two younger Princesses on the left of Zara.)King: Now, is every one in his place?
Lord D.: Every one is in his place.
King: Then let the revels commence.
(Enter the ladies attending the Drawing-Room.They give their cards to the Groom-in-Waiting, who passes them to the Lord-in-Waiting, who passes them to the Vice-Chamberlain, who passes them to the Lord Chamberlain, who reads the names to the King as each lady approaches.The ladies curtsey in succession to the King and the three Princesses, and pass out.When all the presentations have been accomplished, the King, Princesses, and Lady Sophy come forward, and all the ladies re-enter.)RECITATIVE -- KingThis ceremonial our wish displays To copy all Great Britain's courtly ways.
Though lofty aims catastrophe entail, We'll gloriously succeed or nobly fail!
UNACCOMPANIED CHORUS
Eagle High in Cloudland soaring--
Sparrow twittering on a reed--
Tiger in the jungle roaring--