"You forget that one word of mine could undeceive all these good people at Eccleston; and that if I spoke out ever so little, they would throw you off in an instant. Now!" he continued, "do you understand how much you are in my power?" "Mr. and Miss Benson know all--they have not thrown me off," Ruth gasped out. "Oh! for Leonard's sake! you would not be so cruel." "Then do not be cruel to him--to me. Think once more!" "I think once more." She spoke solemnly. "To save Leonard from the shame and agony of knowing my disgrace I would lay down and die. Oh! perhaps it would be best for him--for me, if I might; my death would be a stingless grief--but to go back into sin would be the real cruelty to him The errors of my youth may, be washed away by my tears--it was so once when the gentle, blessed Christ was upon earth; but now, if I went into wilful guilt, as you would have me, how could I teach Leonard God's holy will? I should not mind his knowing my past sin, compared to the awful corruption it would be if he knew me living now, as you would have me, lost to all fear of God----" Her speech was broken by sobs. "Whatever may be my doom--God is just--I leave myself in His hands. I will save Leonard from evil. Evil would it be for him if I lived with you. I will let him die first!" She lifted her eyes to heaven, and clasped and wreathed her hands together tight. Then she said "You have humbled me enough, sir. I shall leave you now." She turned away resolutely. The dark, grey fisherman was at hand. Mr. Donne folded his arms and set his teeth, and. looked after her. "What a stately step she has! How majestic and graceful all her attitudes were! She thinks she has baffled me now. We will try something more, and bid a higher price." He unfolded his arms, and began to follow her. He gained upon her, for her beautiful walk was now wavering and unsteady.
The works which had kept her in motion were running down fast. "Ruth!" said he, overtaking her. "You shall hear me once more. Ay, look round! Your fisherman is near. He may hear me, if he chooses--hear your triumph. I am come to. offer to marry you, Ruth; come what may, I will have you. Nay--I will make you hear me. I will hold this hand till you have heard me. To-morrow I will speak to any one in Eccleston you like--to Mr. Bradshaw; Mr. ----, the little minister I mean. We can make it worth while for him to keep our secret, and no one else need know but what you are really Mrs. Denbigh. Leonard shall still bear this name, but in all things else he shall be treated as my son. He and you would grace any situation.
I will take care the highest paths are open to him!" He looked to see the lovely face brighten into sudden joy; on the contrary, the head was still hung down with a heavy droop. "I cannot," said she; her voice was very faint and low. "It is sudden for you, my dearest. But be calm. It will all be easily managed.
Leave it to me." "I cannot," repeated she, more distinct and clear, though still very low. "Why! what on earth makes you say that?" asked he, in a mood to be irritated by any repetition of such words. "I do not love you. I did once. Don't say I did not love you then! but I do not now. I could never love you again. All you have said and done since you came with Mr. Bradshaw to Abermouth first has only made me wonder how I ever could have loved you. We are very far apart. The time that has pressed down my life like brands of hot iron, and scarred me for ever, has been nothing to you. You have talked of it with no sound of moaning in your voice--no shadow over the brightness of your face; it has left no sense of sin on your conscience, while me it haunts and haunts; and yet I might plead that I was an ignorant child--only I will not plead anything, for God knows all---- But this is only one piece of our great difference----" "You mean that I am no saint," he said, impatient at her speech. "Granted.
But people who are no saints have made very good husbands before now. Come, don't let any morbid, overstrained conscientiousness interfere with substantial happiness--both to you and to me--for I am sure I can make you happy--ay!
and make you love me, too, in spite of your pretty defiance. I love you so dearly, I must win love back. And here are advantages for Leonard, to be gained by you quite in a holy and legitimate way." She stood very erect. "If there was one thing needed to confirm me, you have named it. You shall have nothing to do with my boy, by my consent, much less by my agency.