书城公版Sister Carrie
15686300000083

第83章

This process of THINKING began by a reversion to Carrie and the arrangement by which he was to get her away from Drouet.How about that now? His pain at her failure to meet or write him rapidly increased as he devoted himself to this subject.He decided to write her care of the West Side Post-office and ask for an explanation, as well as to have her meet him.The thought that this letter would probably not reach her until Monday chafed him exceedingly.He must get some speedier method--but how?

He thought upon it for a half-hour, not contemplating a messenger or a cab direct to the house, owing to the exposure of it, but finding that time was slipping away to no purpose, he wrote the letter and then began to think again.

The hours slipped by, and with them the possibility of the union he had contemplated.He had thought to be joyously aiding Carrie by now in the task of joining her interests to his, and here it was afternoon and nothing done.Three o'clock came, four, five, six, and no letter.The helpless manager paced the floor and grimly endured the gloom of defeat.He saw a busy Saturday ushered out, the Sabbath in, and nothing done.All day, the bar being closed, he brooded alone, shut out from home, from the excitement of his resort, from Carrie, and without the ability to alter his condition one iota.It was the worst Sunday he had spent in his life.

In Monday's second mail he encountered a very legal-looking letter, which held his interest for some time.It bore the imprint of the law offices of McGregor, James and Hay, and with a very formal "Dear Sir," and "We beg to state," went on to inform him briefly that they had been retained by Mrs.Julia Hurstwood to adjust certain matters which related to her sustenance and property rights, and would he kindly call and see them about the matter at once.

He read it through carefully several times, and then merely shook his head.It seemed as if his family troubles were just beginning.

"Well!" he said after a time, quite audibly, "I don't know."

Then he folded it up and put it in his pocket.

To add to his misery there was no word from Carrie.He was quite certain now that she knew he was married and was angered at his perfidy.His loss seemed all the more bitter now that he needed her most.He thought he would go out and insist on seeing her if she did not send him word of some sort soon.He was really affected most miserably of all by this desertion.He had loved her earnestly enough, but now that the possibility of losing her stared him in the face she seemed much more attractive.He really pined for a word, and looked out upon her with his mind's eye in the most wistful manner.He did not propose to lose her, whatever she might think.Come what might, he would adjust this matter, and soon.He would go to her and tell her all his family complications.He would explain to her just where he stood and how much he needed her.Surely she couldn't go back on him now?

It wasn't possible.He would plead until her anger would melt--

until she would forgive him.

Suddenly he thought: "Supposing she isn't out there--suppose she has gone?"

He was forced to take his feet.It was too much to think of and sit still.

Nevertheless, his rousing availed him nothing.

On Tuesday it was the same way.He did manage to bring himself into the mood to go out to Carrie, but when he got in Ogden Place he thought he saw a man watching him and went away.He did not go within a block of the house.

One of the galling incidents of this visit was that he came back on a Randolph Street car, and without noticing arrived almost opposite the building of the concern with which his son was connected.This sent a pang through his heart.He had called on his boy there several times.Now the lad had not sent him a word.His absence did not seem to be noticed by either of his children.Well, well, fortune plays a man queer tricks.He got back to his office and joined in a conversation with friends.It was as if idle chatter deadened the sense of misery.

That night he dined at Rector's and returned at once to his office.In the bustle and show of the latter was his only relief.He troubled over many little details and talked perfunctorily to everybody.He stayed at his desk long after all others had gone, and only quitted it when the night watchman on his round pulled at the front door to see if it was safely locked.

On Wednesday he received another polite note from McGregor, James and Hay.It read:

"Dear Sir: We beg to inform you that we are instructed to wait until to-morrow (Thursday) at one o'clock, before filing suit against you, on behalf of Mrs.Julia Hurstwood, for divorce and alimony.If we do not hear from you before that time we shall consider that you do not wish to compromise the matter in any way and act accordingly."Very truly yours, etc."

"Compromise!" exclaimed Hurstwood bitterly."Compromise!"

Again he shook his head.

So here it was spread out clear before him, and now he knew what to expect.If he didn't go and see them they would sue him promptly.If he did, he would be offered terms that would make his blood boil.He folded the letter and put it with the other one.Then he put on his hat and went for a turn about the block.