'I went home,and had scarcely been there half an hour when I was sent for by the governor,who again referred to the scene in church,said that he could not tolerate such scandalous behaviour,and that unless I promised to be more circumspect in future,he should be compelled to discharge me.I said that if he was scandalised at my behaviour in the church,I was more scandalised at all I saw going on in the family,which was governed by two rascally priests,who,not content with plundering him,appeared bent on hurrying the souls of us all to destruction;and that with respect to discharging me,he could do so that moment,as I wished to go.I believe his own reason told him that I was right,for he made no direct answer,but,after looking on the ground for some time,he told me to leave him.As he did not tell me to leave the house,I went to my room,intending to lie down for an hour or two;but scarcely was I there when the door opened,and in came the red-haired priest.He showed himself,as he always did,perfectly civil,asked me how I was,took a chair and sat down.After a hem or two he entered into a long conversation on the excellence of what he called the Catholic religion;told me that he hoped I would not set myself against the light,and likewise against my interest;for that the family were about to embrace the Catholic religion,and would make it worth my while to follow their example.I told him that the family might do what they pleased,but that I would never forsake the religion of my country for any consideration whatever;that I was nothing but a poor servant,but I was not to be bought by base gold."I admire your honourable feelings,"said he,"you shall have no gold;and as I see you are a fellow of spirit,and do not like being a servant,for which I commend you,Ican promise you something better.I have a good deal of influence in this place,and if you will not set your face against the light,but embrace the Catholic religion,I will undertake to make your fortune.You remember those fine fellows to-day who took you into custody,they are the guards of his Holiness.I have no doubt that I have interest enough to procure your enrolment amongst them.""What,"said I,"become swashbuckler to Mumbo Jumbo up here!May I..."-and here I swore-"if I do.The mere possibility of one of their children being swashbuckler to Mumbo Jumbo on the high Barbary shore has always been a source of heart-breaking to my poor parents.What,then,would they not undergo,if they knew for certain that their other child was swashbuckler to Mumbo Jumbo up here?"Thereupon he asked me,even as you did some time ago,what I meant by Mumbo Jumbo.And I told him all I had heard about the Mumbo Jumbo of the high Barbary shore;telling him that I had no doubt that the old fellow up here was his brother,or nearly related to him.The man with the red hair listened with the greatest attention to all I said,and when I had concluded,he got up,nodded to me,and moved to the door;ere he reached the door Isaw his shoulders shaking,and as he closed it behind him I heard him distinctly laughing,to the tune of-he!he!he!
'But now matters began to mend.That same evening my young master unexpectedly arrived.I believe he soon perceived that something extraordinary had been going on in the family.He was for some time closeted with the governor,with whom,I believe,he had a dispute;for my fellow-servant,the lady's maid,informed me that she heard high words.
'Rather late at night the young gentleman sent for me into his room,and asked me various questions with respect to what had been going on,and my behaviour in the church,of which he had heard something.I told him all I knew with respect to the intrigues of the two priests in the family,and gave him a circumstantial account of all that had occurred in the church;adding that,under similar circumstances,I was ready to play the same part over again.Instead of blaming me,he commended my behaviour,told me Iwas a fine fellow,and said he hoped that,if he wanted my assistance,I would stand by him:this I promised to do.Before Ileft him,he entreated me to inform him the very next time I saw the priests entering the house.
'The next morning,as I was in the courtyard,where I had placed myself to watch,I saw the two enter and make their way up a private stair to the young ladies'apartment;they were attended by a man dressed something like a priest,who bore a large box;Iinstantly ran to relate what I had seen to my young master.I found him shaving."I will just finish what I am about,"said he,"and then wait upon these gentlemen."He finished what he was about with great deliberation;then taking a horsewhip,and bidding me follow him,he proceeded at once to the door of his sisters'
apartment:finding it fastened,he burst it open at once with his foot and entered,followed by myself.There we beheld the two unfortunate young ladies down on their knees before a large female doll,dressed up,as usual,in rags and tinsel;the two priests were standing near,one on either side,with their hands uplifted,whilst the fellow who brought the trumpery stood a little way down the private stair,the door of which stood open;without a moment's hesitation,my young master rushed forward,gave the image a cut or two with his horsewhip-then flying at the priests,he gave them a sound flogging,kicked them down the private stair,and spurned the man,box and image after them-then locking the door,he gave his sisters a fine sermon,in which he represented to them their folly in worshipping a silly wooden graven image,which,though it had eyes,could see not;though it had ears,could hear not;though it had hands,could not help itself;and though it had feet,could not move about unless it were carried.Oh,it was a fine sermon that my young master preached,and sorry I am that the Father of the Fetish,old Mumbo,did not hear it.The elder sister looked ashamed,but the youngest,who was very weak,did nothing but wring her hands,weep and bewail the injury which had been done to the dear image.The young man,however,without paying much regard to either of them,went to his father,with whom he had a long conversation,which terminated in the old governor giving orders for preparations to be made for the family's leaving Rome and returning to England.I believe that the old governor was glad of his son's arrival,and rejoiced at the idea of getting away from Italy,where he had been so plundered and imposed upon.The priests,however,made another attempt upon the poor young ladies.
By the connivance of the female servant who was in their interest they found their way once more into their apartment,bringing with them the fetish image,whose body they partly stripped,exhibiting upon it certain sanguine marks which they had daubed upon it with red paint,but which they said were the result of the lashes which it had received from the horsewhip.The youngest girl believed all they said,and kissed and embraced the dear image;but the eldest,whose eyes had been opened by her brother,to whom she was much attached,behaved with proper dignity;for,going to the door,she called the female servant who had a respect for me,and in her presence reproached the two deceivers for their various impudent cheats,and especially for this their last attempt at imposition;adding that if they did not forthwith withdraw and rid her sister and herself of their presence,she would send word by her maid to her brother,who would presently take effectual means to expel them.They took the hint and departed,and we saw no more of them.
'At the end of three days we departed from Rome,but the maid whom the priests had cajoled remained behind,and it is probable that the youngest of our ladies would have done the same thing if she could have had her own will,for she was continually raving about her image,and saying she should wish to live with it in a convent;but we watched the poor thing,and got her on board ship.Oh,glad was I to leave that fetish country and old Mumbo behind me!