'Saying a thing in the public-house is a widely different thing from saying it in the dingle,'said the man in black;'had the Church of England been a persecuting Church,it would not stand in the position in which it stands at present;it might,with its opportunities,have spread itself over the greater part of the world.I was about to observe that,instead of practising the indolent habits of his High Church brethren,Platitude would be working for his money,preaching the proper use of fire and faggot,or rather of the halter and the whipping-post,encouraging mobs to attack the houses of Dissenters,employing spies to collect the scandal of neighbourhoods,in order that he might use it for sacerdotal purposes,and,in fact,endeavouring to turn an English parish into something like a Jesuit benefice in the south of France.'
'He tried that game,'said I,'and the parish said "Pooh,pooh,"and,for the most part,went over to the Dissenters.'
'Very true,'said the man in black,taking a sip at his glass,'but why were the Dissenters allowed to preach?why were they not beaten on the lips till they spat out blood,with a dislodged tooth or two?Why,but because the authority of the Church of England has,by its own fault,become so circumscribed that Mr.Platitude was not able to send a host of beadles and sbirri to their chapel to bring them to reason,on which account Mr.Platitude is very properly ashamed of his Church,and is thinking of uniting himself with one which possesses more vigour and authority.'
'It may have vigour and authority,'said I,'in foreign lands,but in these kingdoms the day for practising its atrocities is gone by.
It is at present almost below contempt,and is obliged to sue for grace IN FORMA PAUPERIS.'
'Very true,'said the man in black;'but let it once obtain emancipation,and it will cast its slough,put on its fine clothes,and make converts by thousands.'What a fine Church!'they'll say;'with what authority it speaks!no doubts,no hesitation,no sticking at trifles.What a contrast to the sleepy English Church!
They'll go over to it by millions,till it preponderates here over every other,when it will of course be voted the dominant one;and then-and then-'and here the man in black drank a considerable quantity of gin and water.
'What then?'said I.
'What then?'said the man in black,'why she will be true to herself.Let Dissenters,whether they be Church of England,as perhaps they may still call themselves,Methodist,or Presbyterian,presume to grumble,and there shall be bruising of lips in pulpits,tying up to whipping-posts,cutting off ears and noses-he!he!
the farce of King Log has been acted long enough;the time for Queen Stork's tragedy is drawing nigh';and the man in black sipped his gin and water in a very exulting manner.
'And this is the Church which,according to your assertion in the public-house,never persecutes?'
'I have already given you an answer,'said the man in black.'With respect to the matter of the public-house,it is one of the happy privileges of those who belong to my Church to deny in the public-house what they admit in the dingle;we have high warranty for such double speaking.Did not the foundation stone of our Church,Saint Peter,deny in the public-house what he had previously professed in the valley?'
'And do you think,'said I,'that the people of England,who have shown aversion to anything in the shape of intolerance,will permit such barbarities as you have described?'
'Let them become Papists,'said the man in black;'only let the majority become Papists,and you will see.'
'They will never become so,'said I;'the good sense of the people of England will never permit them to commit such an absurdity.'
'The good sense of the people of England!'said the man in black,filling himself another glass.
'Yes,'said I,'the good sense of not only the upper,but the middle and lower classes.'
'And of what deion of people are the upper class?'said the man in black,putting a lump of sugar into his gin and water.
'Very fine people,'said I,'monstrously fine people;so,at least,they are generally believed to be.'
'He!he!'said the man in black;'only those think them so who don't know them.The male part of the upper class are in youth a set of heartless profligates;in old age,a parcel of poor,shaking,nervous paillards.The female part,worthy to be the sisters and wives of such wretches-unmarried,full of cold vice,kept under by vanity and ambition,but which,after marriage,they seek not to restrain;in old age,abandoned to vapours and horrors;do you think that such beings will afford any obstacle to the progress of the Church in these regions,as soon as her movements are unfettered?'
'I cannot give an opinion;I know nothing of them,except from a distance.But what think you of the middle classes?'
'Their chief characteristic,'said the man in black,'is a rage for grandeur and gentility;and that same rage makes us quite sure of them in the long run.Everything that's lofty meets their unqualified approbation;whilst everything humble,or,as they call it,"low,"is scouted by them.They begin to have a vague idea that the religion which they have hitherto professed is low;at any rate,that it is not the religion of the mighty ones of the earth,of the great kings and emperors whose shoes they have a vast inclination to kiss,nor was used by the grand personages of whom they have read in their novels and romances,their Ivanhoes,their Marmions,and their Ladies of the Lake.'
'Do you think that the writings of Scott have had any influence in modifying their religious opinions?'