TINKER.The biggest rogue in England,and the cruellest,or he wouldn't have served me as he has done-I'll tell you all about it.I was born upon the roads,and so was my father before me,and my mother too;and I worked with them as long as they lived,as a dutiful child,for I have nothing to reproach myself with on their account;and when my father died I took up the business,and went his beat,and supported my mother for the little time she lived;and when she died I married this young woman,who was not born upon the roads,but was a small tradesman s daughter,at Gloster.She had a kindness for me,and,notwithstanding her friends were against the match,she married the poor tinker,and came to live with him upon the roads.Well,young man,for six or seven years I-as the happiest fellow breathing,living just the life you described just now-respected by everybody in this beat;when in an evil hour comes this Black Jack,this flaming tinman,into these parts,driven as they say out of Yorkshire-for no good you may be sure.Now there is no beat will support two tinkers,as you doubtless know;mine was a good one,but it would not support the flying tinker and myself,though if it would have supported twenty it would have been all the same to the flying villain,who'll brook no one but himself;so he presently finds me out,and offers to fight me for the beat.Now,being bred upon the roads,I can fight a little,that is with anything like my match,but I was not going to fight him,who happens to be twice my size,and so I told him;whereupon he knocks me down,and would have done me farther mischief had not some men been nigh and prevented him;so he threatened to cut my throat,and went his way.Well,I did not like such usage at all,and was woundily frightened,and tried to keep as much out of his way as possible,going anywhere but where I thought I was likely to meet him;and sure enough for several months I contrived to keep out of his way.At last somebody told me that he was gone back to Yorkshire,whereupon I was glad at heart,and ventured to show myself,going here and there as I did before.Well,young man,it was yesterday that I and mine set ourselves down in a lane,about five miles from here,and lighted our fire,and had our dinner,and after dinner I sat down to mend three kettles and a frying pan which the people in the neighbourhood had given me to mend-for,as I told you before,I have a good connection,owing to my honesty.Well,as I sat there hard at work,happy as the day's long,and thinking of anything but what was to happen,who should come up but this Black Jack,this king of the tinkers,rattling along in his cart,with his wife,that they call Grey Moll,by his side-for the villain has got a wife,and a maid-servant too;the last I never saw,but they that has,says that she is as big as a house,and young,and well to look at,which can't be all said of Moll,who,though she's big enough in all conscience,is neither young nor handsome.Well,no sooner does he see me and mine,than,giving the reins to Grey Moll,he springs out of his cart,and comes straight at me;not a word did he say,but on he comes straight at me like a wild bull.
I am a quiet man,young fellow,but I saw now that quietness would be of no use,so I sprang up upon my legs,and being bred upon the roads,and able to fight a little,I squared as he came running in upon me,and had a round or two with him.Lord bless you,young man,it was like a fly fighting with an elephant-one of those big beasts the show-folks carry about.I had not a chance with the fellow,he knocked me here,he knocked me there,knocked me into the hedge,and knocked me out again.I was at my last shifts,and my poor wife saw it.Now my poor wife,though she is as gentle as a pigeon,has yet a spirit of her own,and though she wasn't bred upon the roads,can scratch a little;so when she saw me at my last shifts,she flew at the villain-she couldn't bear to see her partner murdered-and scratched the villain's face.Lord bless you,young man,she had better have been quiet:Grey Moll no sooner saw what she was about,than,springing out of the cart,where she had sat all along perfectly quiet,save a little whooping and screeching to encourage her blade:-Grey Moll,I say (my flesh creeps when I think of it-for I am a kind husband,and love my poor wife)...
MYSELF.Take another draught of the ale;you look frightened,and it will do you good.Stout liquor makes stout heart,as the man says in the play.
TINKER.That's true,young man;here's to you-where was I?Grey Moll no sooner saw what my wife was about,than,springing out of the cart,she flew at my poor wife,clawed off her bonnet in a moment,and seized hold of her hair.Lord bless you,young man,my poor wife,in the hands of Grey Moll,was nothing better than a pigeon in the claws of a buzzard hawk,or I in the hands of the Flaming Tinman,which when I saw,my heart was fit to burst,and I determined to give up everything-everything to save my poor wife out of Grey Moll's claws.'Hold!'I shouted.'Hold,both of you-Jack,Moll.Hold,both of you,for God's sake,and I'll do what you will:give up trade,and business,connection,bread,and everything,never more travel the roads,and go down on my knees to you in the bargain.'Well,this had some effect;Moll let go my wife,and the Blazing Tinman stopped for a moment;it was only for a moment,however,that he left off-all of a sudden he hit me a blow which sent me against a tree;and what did the villain then?
why the flying villain seized me by the throat,and almost throttled me,roaring-what do you think,young man,that the flaming villain roared out?
MYSELF.I really don't know-something horrible,I suppose.