书城公版The Captives
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第158章

"I don't know." He shook his head."It meant something when I began it, but the meaning doesn't seem important now."In a little while he left her, saying: "Now if I were you I'd take a little nap, and later on I'll wake you and we'll go and see your aunt."She slept, lying back in the blue armchair in front of the fire, with only the leaping flames as light to the room.Strange and dim but unspeakably sweet were her dreams.It seemed that she had escaped for ever from Paul and Grace and Skeaton, and that in some strange way Martin was back with her again, the same old Martin, with his laugh and the light in his eyes and his rough red face.He had come into the room--he was standing by the door looking at her;she ran to him, her hands stretched out, cries of joy on her lips, but oven as she reached him there was a cry through the house: "Your Aunt Anne is dead! Your Aunt Anne is dead!" and all the bells began to toll, and she was in the Chapel again and great crowds surged past her.Aunt Anne's bier borne on high above them all.She cried aloud, and woke to find Mr.Magnus standing at her side; one glance at him told her that he was in terrible distress.

"You must come at once," he said."Your aunt may have only a few minutes to live."She followed him, still only half-awake, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles, and feeling as though she were continuing that episode when Martha had led her at the dead of night into her aunt's bedroom.

The chill of the passages however woke her fully, and then her one longing and desire was that Aunt Anne should be conscious enough to recognise her and be aware of her love for her.

The close room, with its smell of medicines and eau-de-Cologne and its strange breathless hush, frightened her just as it had done once before.She saw again the religious picture, the bleeding Christ and the crucifix, the high white bed, the dim windows and the little table with the bottles and the glasses.It was all as it had been before.Her terror grew.She felt as though no power could drag her to that bed.Something lurked there, something horrible and unclean, that would spring upon her and hold her down with its claws...

"Maggie!" said the clear faint voice that she knew so well.Her terror left her.She did not notice Aunt Elizabeth, who was seated close to the bed, nor Mr.Magnus, nor the nurse, nor the doctor.She went forward unafraid.

"Doctor, would you mind..." the voice went on."Three minutes alone with my niece..." The doctor, a stout red-faced man, said something, the figures, all shadowy in the dim light, withdrew.

Maggie was aware of nothing except that there was something of the utmost urgency that she must say.She came close to the bed, found a chair there, sat down and bent forward.There her aunt was lying, the black hair in a dark shadow across the pillow, the face white and sharp, and the eyes burning with a fierce far-seeing light.

They had the intense gaze of a blind man to whom sight has suddenly been given: he cries "I see! I see!" stretching out his arms towards the sun, the trees, the rich green fields.She turned her head and put both her hands about Maggie's; she smiled.

Maggie said, "Oh, Aunt Anne, do you feel bad?""No dear.I'm in no pain at all.Now that you've come I'm quite happy.It was my one anxiety." Her voice was very faint, so that Maggie had to lean forward to catch the words.

"You'll have thought me unkind all this time," said Maggie, "not to have come, but it hasn't been unkindness.Many times I've wanted, but there seemed to be so much to do that it wasn't RIGHT to come away.""Are you happy, dear?" Aunt Anne said in her ghostly whisper.

"Very, very happy," said Maggie, remembering what Mr.Magnus had said to her.

Aunt Anne sighed."Ah, that's good.It was my one worry that you mightn't be happy.I was all wrong about you, Maggie, trying to push you my way instead of letting you go your own.I should have waited for God to show His direction.But I was impatient--and if you were unhappy--" She broke off and for a moment Maggie thought that she would speak no more.She lay there, with her eyes closed, like a waxen image.

She went on again: "I've always loved you, Maggie, from the very first, but I was so impatient for you to come to God.I thought He would reveal Himself and you not be ready.He did reveal Himself, but not as I had thought.He came that night and took Mr.Warlock with Him--that was true, Maggie, that night.All true--All true.God will show you His way.It will be revealed to you.Heaven and its glories.God and His dear Son..."She stopped again and lay with her eyes closed.

Maggie timidly, at last, said:

"Aunt Anne, I want you to forgive me for all my wickedness.I didn't mean to be wicked, but I just couldn't say my feelings out loud.Iwas shy of them somehow.I still am, perhaps.Maybe I always will be.But I just want to say that I know now how good you were to me all that time and I'm grateful from my heart.""You'll get better won't you, Aunt Anne, and then I'll come often?

I'm shy to say my feelings, but I love you.Aunt Anne, for what you've been to me."She stopped.There was a deathly stillness in the chamber.The lamp had sunk low and the fire was a gold cavern.Dusk stole on stealthy feet from wall to wall.Aunt Anne did not, it seemed, breathe.Her hands had dropped from Maggie's and her arms lay straight upon the sheet.Her eyes were closed.

Suddenly she whispered:

"Dear Maggie...Maggie...My Lord and my God...My Master..."Then very faintly: "The Lord is my Shepherd...My Shepherd...

He shall lead me forth...beside the pastures...my rod and my staff...The Lord..."She gave a little sigh and her head rolled to one side.

Maggie, with a startled fear, was suddenly conscious that she was alone in the room.She went to the door and called for the doctor.

As they gathered about the bed the caverns of the fire fell with the sharp sound of a closing door.