书城公版Men,Women and Ghosts
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第36章

This sally amused the king, who said, "Well, since it must be so, you shall be presented."At this I leaped on the king's neck, giving a cry which might have been heard by my rivals. After that, I advanced to the two gentlemen who had advocated my cause so well, extending a hand to each, which they took and kissed with great gallantry.

Louis XV became thoughtful, and continued to mutter between his teeth, "I wash my hands of it--they will cry out, they will clamor, but it must be so." I saw the feelings of the king, and took care not to allow him to go away in this state. Whilst I sought to compose him by my caresses, the duc de Richelieu told us one of his thousand and one adventures, which he told so well. I know not if it will please you, but such as it is I shall give you an abridgment of it.

"I was, you know," he began, "a very good-looking, a very wild fellow: women have no objection to this. I was travelling, and in my way thro' D----, M., the intendant of the city, insisted on my taking up my abode at his house. His lady added her entreaties, and I consented. I must tell you that the lady was handsome. Ihad passed the night with her; but when, on the next morning, as I sought to go out of her apartment, I found the outer door double locked and bolted. I looked round me on all sides, but found no egress. Whilst I was lamenting this with the lady's <femme-de-chambre>, who was nearly as much distressed as her mistress, Isaw in a detached closet a great many machines covered with paper, and all of different shapes. On inquiry, I was informed that the following Monday was the lady's birthday, which they were to celebrate with fireworks. I looked at the beautiful fusees and brilliant suns with much admiration. Suddenly, thinking of the lady's honor which might be compromised, I took a light and set fire to a Roman candle; in a moment the whole was in flames, and everybody took alarm. Great was the consternation in the house, which was turned out of windows; and in the uproar, the house-door being broken open, a crowd of persons rushed in; I ran this way and that way; everybody admired and praised my exertions. I was compelled to quit the house at last, and ordered my carriage, whilst M. the intendant was thanking me for the vast service I had rendered him. I assure you, sire, that I never laughed more heartily."The duc de Richelieu preserved his coolness and talent at repartee in the most trivial circumstances.

The story is well known of the man who came to ask for his aid, saying they were related. "How?"asked the duke. "Sir, by Adam." "Give this man a penny," said the duke, turning to a gentleman of his train; "and if all of his relations give him as much he will soon be a richer man than I am."If our readers will turn to "Joe Miller," Page 45, they will find this jest attributed to the witty duke of Buckingham. It is a very good joke for a duke, but savors more of a desire to be witty than to be charitable.

(translator)

This tale amused the king, and M. de Richelieu assured him that he had never told it before. A thousand considerations had induced him to keep it to himself until the present time. "But now," said he, "the third generation of madame l'intendante is no longer young, and I have no fear of being called out to fight a duel."Next day there was a general rumor of my presentation. My friends asserted that I had the king's promise. This was imprudent on their part, and they injured my interest whilst they flattered my vanity. They put the Choiseul cabal to work, who intrigued so well that not a person could be found who would perform the office of introductress. You know the custom: the presentation is effected by the intermediation of another lady, who conducts the person to be presented to the princesses, and introduces her.

This custom had passed into a law, and it would have been too humiliating to me to have dispensed with it.

This was a dire blow for me: it distressed me sadly, and I wept over it with my friends. The duc de Richelien said to me,"With money and promises everything can be managed at court. There is no place where they know better how to value complaisance, and the price at which it is sold. Do not give yourself any uneasiness;we shall find the lady we want."