I selected the materials for a suit, with the assistance of Mr Trabb's judgment, and re-entered the parlour to be measured. For, although Mr Trabb had my measure already, and had previously been quite contented with it, he said apologetically that it `wouldn't do under existing circumstances, sir - wouldn't do at all.' So, Mr Trabb measured and calculated me, in the parlour, as if I were an estate and he the finest species of surveyor, and gave himself such a world of trouble that I felt that no suit of clothes could possibly remunerate him for his pains. When he had at last done and had appointed to send the articles to Mr Pumblechook's on the Thursday evening, he said, with his hand upon the parlour lock, `I know, sir, that London gentlemen cannot be expected to patronize local work, as a rule;but if you would give me a turn now and then in the quality of a townsman, I should greatly esteem it. Good morning, sir, much obliged. - Door!'
The last word was flung at the boy, who had not the least notion what it meant. But I saw him collapse as his master rubbed me out with his hands, and my first decided experience of the stupendous power of money, was, that it had morally laid upon his back, Trabb's boy.
After this memorable event, I went to the hatter's, and the bootmaker's, and the hosier's, and felt rather like Mother Hubbard's dog whose outfit required the services of so many trades. I also went to the coach-office and took my place for seven o'clock on Saturday morning. It was not necessary to explain everywhere that I had come into a handsome property; but whenever I said anything to that effect, it followed that the officiating tradesman ceased to have his attention diverted through the window by the High-street, and concentrated his mind upon me. When I had ordered everything I wanted, I directed my steps towards Pumblechook's, and, as I approached that gentleman's place of business, I saw him standing at his door.
He was waiting for me with great impatience. He had been out early with the chaise-cart, and had called at the forge and heard the news. He had prepared a collation for me in the Barnwell parlour, and he too ordered his shopman to `come out of the gangway' as my sacred person passed.
`My dear friend,' said Mr Pumblechook, taking me by both hands, when he and I and the collation were alone, `I give you joy of your good fortune.
Well deserved, well deserved!'
This was coming to the point, and I thought it a sensible way of expressing himself.
`To think,' said Mr Pumblechook, after snorting admiration at me for some moments, `that I should have been the humble instrument of leading up to this, is a proud reward.'
I begged Mr Pumblechook to remember that nothing was to be ever said or hinted, on that point.
`My dear young friend,' said Mr Pumblechook, `if you will allow me to call you so--'
I murmured `Certainly,' and Mr Pumblechook took me by both hands again, and communicated a movement to his waistcoat, which had an emotional appearance, though it was rather low down, `My dear young friend, rely upon my doing my little all in your absence, by keeping the fact before the mind of Joseph.
- Joseph!' said Mr Pumblechook, in the way of a compassionate adjuration.
`Joseph!! Joseph!!!' Thereupon he shook his head and tapped it, expressing his sense of deficiency in Joseph.
`But my dear young friend,' said Mr Pumblechook, `you must be hungry, you must be exhausted. Be seated. Here is a chicken had round from the Boar, here is a tongue had round from the Boar, here's one or two little things had round from the Boar, that I hope you may not despise. But do I,' said Mr Pumblechook, getting up again the moment after he had sat down, `see afore me, him as I ever sported with in his times of happy infancy?
And may I - may I - ?'
This May I, meant might he shake hands? I consented, and he was fervent, and then sat down again.
`Here is wine,' said Mr Pumblechook. `Let us drink, Thanks to Fortune, and may she ever pick out her favourites with equal judgment! And yet Icannot,' said Mr Pumblechook, getting up again, `see afore me One - and likewise drink to One - without again expressing - May I - may I- ?'
I said he might, and he shook hands with me again, and emptied his glass and turned it upside down. I did the same; and if I had turned myself upside down before drinking, the wine could not have gone more direct to my head.
Mr Pumblechook helped me to the liver wing, and to the best slice of tongue (none of those out-of-the-way No Thoroughfares of Pork now), and took, comparatively speaking, no care of himself at all. `Ah! poultry, poultry! You little thought,' said Mr Pumblechook, apostrophizing the fowl in the dish, `when you was a young fledgling, what was in store for you.
You little thought you was to be refreshment beneath this humble roof for one as - Call it a weakness, if you will,' said Mr Pumblechook, getting up again, `but may I? may I - ?'
It began to be unnecessary to repeat the form of saying he might, so he did it at once. How he ever did it so often without wounding himself with my knife, I don't know.
`And your sister,' he resumed, after a little steady eating, `which had the honour of bringing you up by hand! It's a sad picter, to reflect that she's no longer equal to fully understanding the honour. May--'
I saw he was about to come at me again, and I stopped him.
`We'll drink her health,' said I.
`Ah!' cried Mr Pumblechook, leaning back in his chair, quite flaccid with admiration, `that's the way you know 'em, sir!' (I don't know who Sir was, but he certainly was not I, and there was no third person present);`that's the way you know the nobleminded, sir! Ever forgiving and ever affable. It might,' said the servile Pumblechook, putting down his untasted glass in a hurry and getting up again, `to a common person, have the appearance of repeating - but may I - ?'
When he had done it, he resumed his seat and drank to my sister. `Let us never be blind,' said Mr Pumblechook, `to her faults of temper, but it is to be hoped she meant well.'